Loss of a Family Member

After Loss of a spouse

Find hope and support by reading, listening and watching stories of spouse loss and recovery.

Articles

  • Finding Joy While Grieving: Carrying the Tiger

    Posted on April 28, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    Finding Joy While Grieving Recently, a grief counselor told me something disturbing. He had been describing my new memoir, Carrying the Tiger: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy while Grieving, to one of his support groups. When he reached the point where I began to form a new relationship just a few months after the death of my beloved wife, several of the women stopped listening. “Women grieve, men replace,” one said dismissively, and the others nodded in agreement. They assumed that my actions suggested emotional abandonment, or perhaps a kind of infidelity, both of which they found […]

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  • New Love and Memories After the Death of My Wife

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    New Love After the Death of My Wife Monday, September 27, 2021 We consolidated Lynn’s clothes into a closet and a bureau, unearthed her beautiful scarves and handbags, and put them in a couple of baskets in the living room. We went through her family photos, collected her sketchbooks into one pile, and flipped through years of drawings. The whole process was immensely sad. Every day brought dozens of touchstones of our shared life: photos that I examined, perfumes that I sniffed, and handwritten notes that I read until I couldn’t bear to read further. I was sad from morning […]

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  • Picking Up the Pieces after the Death of My Wife

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    Picking Up the Pieces First comes denial. I tell myself that because Lynn and I got to say all those goodbyes, because she knew how much I loved her, because we had no regrets about our choices, my grief should be shallower or shorter than most. In post after post, I emphasize the positives—as when, just two days after she died, I describe riding around Central Park looking forward to my life ahead. But really, I am in shock, as when your body and mind conspire to shield you from the pain of an accident. For more than six years, […]

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  • Watching My Wife Die: Carrying the Tiger

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    Watching My Wife Die “Sometimes you have to say enough is enough.” It is late afternoon. Lynn and I are in the living room, she in her wheelchair, me in a folding chair in front of her. There is one light on, leaving most of the room in shadow. Dr. Hellman speaks calmly, gently. “If you go back to the hospital now, you will probably never come out,” he says. “The radiation may slow it a little, but there’s just too much cancer. We’re not going to beat it, and the treatments will make you even weaker. If there’s ever […]

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  • The Shock of Spouse Loss: Carrying the Tiger

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    The Shock of Spouse Loss Sunday, September 28, 2014 It’s an unseasonably warm Sunday in late September. I am working at my computer while my wife, Lynn, lies on our bed across the hall, sketching our elderly cat, Jack. She’s spent a lot of time like that these past two months, feeling increasingly crummy for some reason the doctors can’t figure out. It began as chronic indigestion, then acid reflux, and recently bouts of diarrhea. She’s stopped enjoying her meals and is losing a lot of weight. Her doctors have given her every kind of scope and scan they can […]

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  • Widow Wonders Whether New Partner is Stuck in Grief

    Posted on February 26, 2025 - by Marty Tousley

    Is My New Partner Stuck in Grief? Question from reader: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death.  He has been doing this for five years.  We have been dating for four-and-a half-years.  My husband died suddenly of a heart attack just a month after my companion’s wife died following a two-year battle with colon cancer.  At this point, I’m not sure how I am tolerating these very public displays of grief. Would you be willing to […]

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  • Valentine’s Day Rituals to Awaken Memories

    Posted on February 7, 2025 - by Nan Zastrow

    Valentine’s Day Rituals to Awaken Memories Ponder the Vows you made to each other. Every “love” adventure steps into the great unknown . Your vows challenge you to work through life together. Celebrate the adversity you overcame as you weathered the storms of life. Be grateful for the milestones you accomplished together. As a Valentine’s Day ritual, acknowledge your journey—the trials and the triumphs! Make a List of your Happiest Times Together. Review it every time sadness overwhelms you and threatens you into despair. Use the list to ignite the flame of love and connection. It’s a promise that heals […]

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    Valentine’s Day Memories

    Posted on February 7, 2025 - by Nan Zastrow

    Valentine’s Day Memories “Random memories tell the stories of our lives…the difficult and joyous times that reveal who we are now, how far we’ve traveled, and who we’ve become because of our experiences.” Valentine’s Day dawned, and I awoke keenly aware that my first year without my husband was predestined to be an emotional one. It occurred just one month after his unexpected death.   I wouldn’t be creating any new memories. Gary’s absence filled the house, and the relenting ache of early grief was overwhelming.  I craved having just one more time. One more memory. Hearing his laughter and feeling […]

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  • Entering a New Relationship after Death of a Life Partner

    Posted on January 30, 2025 - by Vicki Panagotacos, PhD FT

    Entering a New Relationship One of the most charming questions I ever received in one of my second-year spousal-loss classes came from a middle-aged man named Sam. He said, “If I were to invite a woman over to dinner, how many framed pictures of my deceased wife would be too many?” His question was a good one. Sam, like most people who have lost a mate, had increased the number of framed photos around his house so he could feel his late wife’s presence. I answered his question with one of my own: “If you went into a widow’s home, […]

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  • Ten New Year’s Eves: A Widow Remembers

    Posted on December 30, 2024 - by Katy Hutchison

    Ten New Year’s Eves December 31st has come and gone ten times since my husband Bob was murdered. While ringing in the New Year with friends, Bob left our dinner table to check on the home of a vacationing neighbor. It had become apparent no responsible adult was overseeing a party the neighbor’s teenaged son was throwing. Bob walked in on two hundred drunk and out of control youth. Within minutes he was dead, beaten to death by two young men angered by his efforts to shut things down. I was left a widow with four-year-old twins. The first year […]

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    For Widows Navigating Finances

    Posted on December 9, 2024 - by Gloria Horsley

    The journey through widowhood presents unique financial challenges that many individuals find themselves unprepared to face. During a recent Open to Hope Conversations podcast, financial expert Kathleen Real shared valuable insights about helping widows navigate their financial futures after losing their partners. Understanding the Three Stages of Widowhood Real, author of “Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows,” outlines three distinct stages that most widows experience: Grief Stage: Characterized by shock and emotional turmoil, making it difficult to make clear financial decisions Growth Stage: A period of normalization when widows begin to take control of their financial […]

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  • Thanksgiving Darkness

    Posted on November 28, 2024 - by Mark Liebenow

    Thanksgiving Darkness Coming home after work in late November, I hear the sounds of children laughing and look down from the BART station at the playground of St. Leander’s School. Children are running around, playing kickball, and delighting in life. My wife Evelyn tutored at the school after hours for several years as her health slowly improved after a year spent in bed exhausted by Candida, then she was hired to work full-time. But it proved to be too much too soon in her recovery, and she ran out of energy after a few weeks. Searching for what she could […]

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  • The Emotions of Spouse Loss

    Posted on November 25, 2024 - by Beverly Chantalle McManus

    The Emotions of Spouse Loss My entry into widowhood began in 2002 when our family was enjoying a long-awaited summer vacation in Hawaii and my husband Steve noticed he was having trouble swallowing.  It wasn’t just that it was hard to swallow, but it actually hurt.  He promised to get it checked out when we returned home.  But neither of us expected the first two words that came out of the doctor’s mouth when he returned for his lab results:  “It’s cancer.” What?  How could this be?  Just a few weeks earlier Steve had been surfing, snorkeling, hiking all over […]

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  • Grieving Through the Holidays

    Posted on October 24, 2024 - by Catherine Tidd

    Grieving Through the Holidays I know I’m not the only one who is feeling the effects of the season. Grieving during “normal” times is a full-time job.  Throw in 2 or 3 holidays back-to-back and whatever milestones we might have in the middle…well…we’re all working on nervous breakdowns of epic proportions. I think one of the cruelest things about the holidays (and this may just be me) is that we’re dealing with something we used to look forward to so much. And it’s turned into something we can barely get through. My first Christmas without my husband was definitely the hardest.  […]

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  • You Know You’re a Widow When…

    Posted on October 22, 2024 - by Linda Della-Donna

    You Know You’re a Widow When You know you’re a widow when… At the end of a good day, you bust out crying for no particular reason. At the end of a bad day, you burst out laughing for no particular reason. And at the end of every day, you crawl into bed and sleep on His side. You refuse to throw away His toothbrush, His razor, His bar of soap. Because you think He’ll need them. The sight of His bathrobe hanging on a hook on the back of the bathroom door reduces you to tears, but you refuse […]

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  • Death of an Ex-Spouse

    Posted on October 10, 2024 - by Marty Tousley

    Death of an Ex-Spouse Dear Marty: I’m not really sure how to explain how I feel after losing my ex-spouse a month ago—especially since he died the same day that I was having major surgery. Consequently, after the death of my ex-spouse, I’ve had quite a few complications from my surgery. I had to take care of my two teenage boys and their grief the morning after surgery when I got the phone call about their father. The funeral (which was put on by his new young wife) was about the last four years of his life and didn’t talk […]

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  • Widower Reflects on Grief Thirty Years Later

    Posted on September 23, 2024 - by Mike Bernhardt

    Widower Reflects on Grief One evening in my bereavement support group, a couple of months after my wife Susan died, a woman spoke about how comforting it had been to be able to cry for her first husband in the presence of her new second husband. I told her that I hoped I might meet someone so tolerant of my love for someone else. She replied, “You won’t settle for anything less.” I have been married for twenty-eight years to a woman I became friends with a few months after Susan died. Yvonne was patient and giving enough to let […]

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  • Widower Shares Emotional Journey

    Posted on September 23, 2024 - by Mike Bernhardt

    Someone Died Today No matter how prepared or unprepared we are for death, no matter how old or young we are, no matter how much we say, “I love you,” no matter how “good” or “bad” a death it was, no matter how relieved or anguished we feel, no matter what our spiritual or religious beliefs are, the death of a loved one shocks us with its finality. They are gone forever from this world, and our lives will never be the same. The Raging Storm Emotions tumble over us—intolerable pain, rage at our loved one, ourselves and God, terror […]

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  • Widower Finds Poetry Healing

    Posted on September 23, 2024 - by Mike Bernhardt

    Widower Experiences Consuming Grief My wife Susan died unexpectedly in April 1991, the Sunday after Easter. I could never have imagined beforehand how transformative an experience that would be. Nothing was true anymore but the truths of her death and my continued existence. I was shaken to my foundations, forced to decide what I would keep of myself and what I would throw away. Every aspect of my life was subject to review, from my occupation to my spiritual beliefs, from my choice of friends to my choice of doctors. Although some friends were very supportive, for about a year […]

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Open to Hope Radio

Open to Hope TV

  • Episode 240: What Grieving People Need to Know

    Posted on January 6, 2025 - by admin

    What would it be helpful for grieving people to know?  Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley, with guests Joyal Mulheron, Dr. Eric Brewer, and Dr. Jill Harrington to candidly discuss what they wish they had known after their losses.  Joyal Mulheron is a Washington D.C. public policy expert, with more than 25 years of service to the Nation’s Governors and The White House.  Joyal has created Evermore; an organization dedicated to providing holistic bereavement care to children and families. Dr. Eric Brewer is the Founder and Senior Pastor of “Transform Church Global Ministries” and the […]

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  • Episode 238: The Next Chapter: Life After Spouse Loss

    Posted on January 2, 2025 - by admin

    What does the next chapter look like after a spouse loss?  Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley with their guests; Dr. Eric Brewer and Dr. Jill Harrington to discuss life after spouse loss.  Dr. Eric Brewer is the Founder and Senior Pastor of “Transform Church Global Ministries” and the author of From Grief to Growth.  His wife Holly died of Covid-19, and he has since remarried Tiffany Brewer.  Eric founded and leads a national weekly support group for black widowers.  Dr. Jill Harrington is an Assistant Professor of Social Work at Marymount University.  Her husband […]

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  • Episode 237: Nurturing Hope in Grieving Kids

    Posted on December 22, 2024 - by admin

    How do we nurture hope in grieving kids? Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley with their guests; Dr. Korie Leigh, Julie Ryan, Dr. Liza Barros-Lane, and Kate Mollison to candidly discuss how to help grieving children. Dr. Korie Leigh is an Associate Professor and Program Director at Marian University, and serves on the Board of Directors for the Heros’ Path Palliative Care. She is the author of, It Won’t Ever Be the Same; A Teens Guide to Grief and Grieving, and What Does Grief Look Like? Julie Ryan is a Medical Intuitive. She is the […]

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  • Episode 236: Widowed Too Soon

    Posted on December 22, 2024 - by admin

    Have you been widowed too soon?  Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley with their guests Dr. Liza Barros-Lane, Sarah Voleman, and Kate Mollison to discuss the hidden issues around suddenly becoming widowed. Dr. Liza Barros-Lane is an Assistant Professor of Social Work at the University of Houston-Downtown, her husband died in a drowning accident, leaving her a widow with a three year old son. Liza founded The Young Widowhood Project, and shares her insights through @The Widowed Researcher.  Sarah Voleman is a board certified art therapist and a licensed social worker.  She is a faculty […]

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  • Episode 235: Navigating Loss

    Posted on December 20, 2024 - by admin

    Losses are complicated, how do we navigate them?  Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guests; Julie Ryan, Sarah Voleman and Dr. Korie Leigh to talk about navigating loss. Julie Ryan is a Medical Intuitive. She is the author of, Angelic Attendants: What Really Happens As We Transition From This Life Into The Next, and Angel Messages, picture books answering kids’ tough questions. Julie hosts the “Ask Julie Ryan” show which is heard by millions worldwide. Sarah Voleman is a board certified art therapist and a licensed social worker.  She is a faculty member […]

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  • Episode 231: Faces of Grief

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    Grief comes in many forms, and on this show we will talk about the groundbreaking book “Faces of Grief.” Join Dr. Heidi Horsley and Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, to discuss Faces of Grief. Joining them are Bill Correll, Jan Jeremias, Carin Mikos, and Kate Mollison. Co-host Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki is a somatic therapist, who started SIBS online, a weekly peer support group. Bill Correll has a podcast called Lightening the Candle: A World the Works.” Jan Jeremias, is the best selling author of “Spoil Your Pet: A Practical Guide to Using Essential Oils in Dogs and Cats.” Carin Mikos is the creator of […]

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  • Episode 230: Turning Loss into Legacy

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    How do we turn loss into Legacy? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Alan Pedersen to talk about the creative ways that people have turned loss into legacy. Joining them are Kate Mollison, Jordon Ferber, Kelli Holst, and Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki. Co-host Alan Pedersen has presented programs for grieving families in over 1,600 cities, and is the former Executive Director of The Compassionate Friends. Kate Mollison, is the founder and CEO of “On Tuesdays We Wear Black.” Jordon Ferber, runs an online Compassionate Friends sibling goup, and is podcast host for Where’s the Grief. Kelli Holst, is the Founder […]

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  • Episode 229: Grief as a Teacher

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    Is it possible to learn something from your grief? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Alan Pedersen as they discuss how grief can be a teacher. Joining them are, Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, Carin Mikos, Jan Jeremias, Bill Correll, Jordon Ferber, and Kelli Holst. Co-host Alan Pedersen has presented programs for grieving families in over 1,600 cities and is the former Executive Director for The Compassionate Friends. Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, is a somatic therapist, who started SIBS online, a weekly peer to peer support group. Carin Mikos, is the creator of Quietus House, and podcast host for In the Gap. Jan […]

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  • Episode 228: Finding Hope in the Face of Grief

    Posted on September 27, 2024 - by admin

    Is it possible to find hope again after loss? Join Host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her guests Kelly Cervantes, Tysha Scott and Anne Smith, as they talk about their struggle to find hope in the face of grief. Kelly Cervantes daughter died just before her 4th birthday of epilepsy. She wrote the USA Today best-selling book; Normal/Broken: The Grief Companion For When It’s Time To Heal, But You’re Not Sure You Want To. Kelly has been featured on MSNBC, The NY Times, and CNN. She has been published in the Chicago Tribune, Cosmopolitan, and Fortune. Tysha Scott is the owner […]

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