As we approach the ten-year anniversary of 9/1,1 we will mourn as a nation, pay tribute to all those who were murdered, and celebrate our resilience as a country.
For the past 10 years, I have had the honor of working as a psychologist with families who lost a firefighter in the World Trade Center. I have been part of an FDNY/Columbia University Family Guidance research team, looking at traumatic loss over time.
For these 9-11 families, the grief journey has often been rocky and there have been set backs along the way, particularly given the public traumatic nature and ongoing reminders of the event. However, the fire department is a tight-knit, supportive community, and these families have prevailed and gone on to find hope again.
Recently, I was speaking with a client who lost her firefighter father in the attacks as a teenager, when I asked her what she would like the world to know about her experience 10 years later. She said, “I miss my dad as much as I did on the day 9/11 happened; however, I have learned to live a different life and found happiness once again.”
When I asked her how she was doing today, she replied, “After much heartache and difficulty, I am finally doing o.k. It’s either live in sorrow and misery or enjoy what’s left. I believe I will see my dad again one day and that’s what gets me through the hard times.”
Having a family member killed on 9/11 is a unique loss in that those who lost loved ones that day have had to endure constant reminders and continuous emmersion in 9/11 activities and media/news stories. These constant reminders are bittersweet; although they are reminders that the country will never forget, they are nonetheless reminders and can be very difficult emotionally.
The 9/11 families, like all of us who have experienced the death of a loved one, are an example of the resilience of the human spirit and the ability to endure despite great adversity. Further, this horrific tragedy is further proof that our country will prevail as a nation and keep going, and that no one can destroy our spirit.
Dr. Heidi Horsley 2011
