Valentine’s Day has come and gone for millions of happy couples, friends, children, and parents who celebrate this Day of Love, but for countless people who have lost a special someone, pain continues to pull on their heart strings for what seems like an endless loop of days that merely exist as Before and After.

Oh, how I remember the heart-and-gut-wrenching pain I felt after my firstborn died from unexpected delivery complications, and following two subsequent miscarriages. Love I would never be able to bestow upon children I had dreamt of since my own childhood…arms I would never feel hugging my neck…wet, toddler kisses I would never feel smooshed into my cheeks… Bereft. Stripped of what I had always understood to be a right of passage for women who wanted to be Mom. Robbed of a love people say you can never know until you have looked into the eyes of your child and held him in your arms.

Dead. My child was dead. My heart felt dead. And many times, in the absence of that profound love, I wanted to be dead, too. Even after I gave birth to children who lived, every fiber yearned for those lost loves. I contemplated suicide many times. After I realized I could not end my own life, I prayed to a Merciful God, one whom I was taught did not give us more than we can handle, to claim my life, too.

One night following such a plea, an extraordinary thing happened. I woke to my deceased son, Gavin Michael, talking to me. He was wearing suspenders, silky shorts and a short-sleeved blazer, an outfit that reminded me of baptisms. A toddler in stature, he spoke in wise and adult-like ways. “I’m okay, Mommy,” he said, “You need to stay there; my brother and sister need you.”

I have to be honest, Neighbor, I was both elated and confused. On one hand, I was thrilled to see my son, on the other I was terrified. Was this encounter with my child’s spirit real? Was it imagined? Was I losing my mind?

Hours after being told my child died, I decided I did not want to spend a lifetime mourning him. I did not know what that meant, what it looked like on the other side, or how I was going to get there, but I knew what I did not want. I ultimately decided that none of the questions following that blissful night mattered because the experience brought me peace, joy, and renewed my hope that I would one day come out on the other side of my grief.

When I finally had the courage to share that dream-like story with others, countless people opened up to me about their own visits, while countless more expressed their own longing for a loved one’s “visit.”

I have learned that nothing, not even death, can strip love’s bonds for they are truly eternal, spanning all space and time. We just have to recognize that our connection to our loved one now exists in a different form than we may desire or expect. Every time we remember something funny, joyous, or heartwarming, we reunite that love.

Memories, which may be bring a mixture of pain and comfort in the early years are representations of our eternal bonds. For centuries, humans have also associated various sightings and symbols as signs that souls are connecting with us from the other side, sending little love notes that say, “I’m still here. I’ll always love you.” Below are five, common occurrences associated with spiritual connections.

Birds, Butterflies, Dragonflies…

Winged energies are some of the most frequent signs from the spirit world. People have shared with me story after story of Cardinals, butterflies, dragonflies, hawks and many other forms that appeared right after a death or funeral and then at randomly poignant times years afterward. I have always associated hummingbirds with Gavin and they not only appear outside my office window, they will flutter there—facing me—until I notice them.

Feathers

Do feathers frequently appear on your path or have they literally fluttered from the sky in front of your face? A friend began seeing feathers everywhere after her husband died. When you see one, note if you had recently been thinking about someone deceased. You might be surprised how often that is the case!

Music and lyrics

Have you ever been thinking about someone when a shared favorite song or one that reminds you of a deceased loved one comes on the radio? Your loved one’s spirit is close by, filling the space around you with love.

Numbers

Do you keep seeing the same number over and over? They appear everywhere: in license plates, billboards, phone numbers, receipts, or you may hear the number being spoken. Do you wake often at the same time? A common, repeating number widely recognized as little ‘Hellos’ from the spirit world is 11:11. People also share how they keep seeing a loved one’s death date or a significant day or time in numbers. Know that these numbers are how your deceased love one is reminding you of your eternal bonds.

 Flickering Lights

Another common phenomenon is flickering lights, especially in one particular room. You change the bulb, check the connections, and notice the issue cannot be weather-related because it only happens in one room. Some say it could be the energy of a spirit in the room; you can imagine how strong a soul’s energetic frequency must be to transmit across realms! With the onset of digital devices, people are also noticing fluke freezes and intermittent nuances with cell phones, tablets, and laptops; symptoms sometimes occurring when they are thinking about someone who has died.