By Patrick Malone —

Technically, grief is the intense emotional suffering caused by a loss. If you are among those who have suffered the death of a child, spouse, parent or grandparent, you know an intense level of grief that is almost indescribable. There are many among us today who are dealing with grief due to a different kind of loss — the loss of a job, income or savings — and for them it may be the most intense loss they have experienced.

Over the last three decades, we have experienced unprecedented economic growth not only in the United States but around the globe. More than half of the US population has little or no recollection of the economic problems associated with the early 70’s.

The current meltdown of the global economy is creating the same type of intense emotions normally only associated with the loss of a loved one. Sadness, fear, anger, guilt, apathy — and “why me?” — are now as common as openness, interest, enthusiasm and commitment. These emotions are not only appearing in our global workforce but also in their families.

With more than 8 percent of the United States’ workers currently unemployed, it is easy to understand why they might be encountering the negative emotions of grief. Often overlooked is the impact on the remaining 92% that are still working. Consider the toll the global recession taking on the survivors.

Sadness
It is easy to assume that those still receiving a paycheck are grateful and happy, and yet when their co-workers are furloughed or downsized they have lost an important relationship and experience a certain level of sadness. Even if their company has managed to keep its workforce intact, most of us know a neighbor or family member who is unemployed and that makes them sad.

Fear
Rejoice, you did not receive the pink slip this month. That might be understandable but is it realistic? Even if there was a sense of relief, it was momentary and quickly replaced by the fear that “I will be next.” No one knows how or where this economic crisis will end or turn around. So the fear that you could be next is real and intense for many.

Guilt
Bereaved parents often wonder why they didn’t die in place of their child. Similarly, those who have jobs may feel similar “survivor” guilt. Your laid off co-worker has a family and you are single. Why them and not you? Or you might be thinking, “If I had worked harder, been more creative, more efficient, more (you fill in the blank), we would not have had to layoff anyone.”

Anger
My world is collapsing around me and I am unable to do anything about it. It’s not my fault so I need someone to blame. So I’m angry with my boss, the owner of the company, President Bush, President Obama, my wife/husband, my kids and the list goes on. There are an endless numbers of real or perceived culprits at whom we can direct our anger.

Why Me?
At some point in this emotional thrill ride this question arises. What did I do to deserve this? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why, why, why? Ask this question often enough and you realize there may not be an answer out there or at least not an acceptable answer.

Now you have reached the crossroads and you are facing two signposts — the one on the left says apathy, while the one on the right says commitment. Come to the conclusion that there is nothing you can do about your lot in life and you will have chosen the road to apathy . This will involve sitting around moaning aboutyour situation and waiting for someone or something to come along and take care of you.

The good news is you have another choice. That other signpost says commitment. It is the choice to do something, anything, to improve your situation. It may be as simple as taking an online course to improve your computer skills or volunteering to be part of the innovation team that will lead your company out of this recession.

It could be more dramatic: launching your own company based on that idea that you have been considering for years, for example. Whatever it is, it is your choice. In one of my darkest moments as a bereaved parent, a good friend told me, “Grief is standard, misery is optional.” It is your decision.

Patrick T. Malone, a Senior Partner with The PAR Group www.thepargroup.com, has more than 35 years experience in operations, customer service, and sales management. Patrick served on the National Board of Compassionate Friends (TCF) from 1999-2005. He served as treasurer from 2000-2003, and was President of the TCF board from 2003-2005. Patrick and his wife Kathy reside in Atlanta, Georgia and are the parents of Bryan, Lance (1970-1995), Scott, Sean and Erin, and the grandparents of Shannah, Devin, Riley, Katie and Megan. Patrick may be contacted at ptm4936@aol.com.

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Patrick T. Malone

Patrick T. Malone, a Senior Partner with The PAR Group www.thepargroup.com , has decades of experience in operations, customer service, and sales management. Before joining PAR as a senior consultant in 1989, Patrick worked in a variety of management roles including Vice President - National Sales Manager for American Greetings Corporation and The Scott Companies. As a key member of the PAR team, Patrick has trained and consulted throughout the world with a wide range of organizations including The American Cancer Society, Banfield-The Pet Hospital, Coca-Cola, Delta Air Lines, DuPont, Ft. Dodge Animal Health, Hewlett-Packard, International Securities Exchange, Novell, Sensient Technologies, Siemens Medical, SOLAE, The United Way, and Verizon Wireless. His work with PAR clients has taken him to Canada, Mexico, United Kingdom, Spain, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Brazil, Australia, France and China. A frequent speaker at industry, management and bereavement conferences, he has presented and spoken before the Mississippi VMA and the Delaware VMA; the Frontline Forum at American School of International Management; Argosy University; the business schools at Kennesaw State University and Georgia State University; The American Society of Training and Development; and the Colleges of Veterinary Medicine at Mississippi State University, Iowa State University, Louisiana State University, University of Florida, University of Minnesota, Tufts University, Compassionate Friends national and regional conferences. Patrick is the co-author of the new business book Cracking the Code to Leadership http://thepargroup.com/crackingCode.html Educated at John Carroll University, Patrick is a member of the CEO Action Group of the Metro Atlanta Chamber of Commerce, Small Business Growth Council, Legislative Committee and the Professional Services Executive Roundtable. He has also served as the National Board President of The Compassionate Friends (TCF), Inc., an international support group for bereaved parents and is a former Trustee of the TCF Foundation. He also serves as President of LMMA Inc. www.looktwicesavealifebumperstickers.com, a not-for-profit 501(c)3 corporation dedicated to motorcycle safety and awareness and is the host of the weekly radio show "This Week in Blairsville" Patrick served on the National Board of Compassionate Friends (TCF) from 1999-2005. He served as treasurer from 2000-2003, and was President of the TCF board from 2003-2005. Patrick and his wife Kathy reside in Atlanta, Georgia and are the parents of Bryan, Lance (1970-1995), Scott (1971), Sean and Erin(1974) and the grandparents of Shannah, Devin, Riley, Katie and Megan. Patrick may be contacted at ptm4936@aol.com Patrick appeared on the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart to discuss Grief in the Workplace. To listen to his interview with Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link: www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley062305.mp3

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