In a recent episode of Open to Hope Conversations, Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley welcomed Dr. Shweta Vikram, an international speaker, best-selling author, and Ayurvedic practitioner. Dr. Vikram shared valuable insights on coping with grief and loss, drawing from her personal experiences and professional expertise.
A Journey Through Loss
Dr. Vikram’s connection to grief and loss runs deep. Her early experiences with the loss of her grandfather and aunt shaped her understanding of grief. Later, she faced the profound loss of both her father and father-in-law within two days of each other, which became the inspiration for her latest book, “The Loss That Binds Us: 108 Tips on Coping with Grief and Loss.”
Dr. Vikram’s father played a significant role in her life, serving as a confidant and critic. Their close relationship allowed for open discussions about loss, including the death of her father’s sister when he was young. These conversations, often unspoken in their South Asian culture, laid the foundation for Dr. Vikram’s work in grief and healing.
Ayurveda and Grief
As a practitioner of Ayurveda, Dr. Vikram brings a unique perspective to grief and healing. Ayurveda, the ancient Indian science of life, focuses on the balance of mind, body, and spirit. Dr. Vikram explained how Ayurvedic principles can help understand different grief responses:
- Ayurveda recognizes that individuals have different constitutions (doshas) that influence their reactions to loss
- Understanding one’s constitution can help in finding balance during the grieving process
- Ayurvedic practices can support overall well-being during times of grief
Cultural Differences in Grieving
Dr. Vikram highlighted the differences in how grief is approached in Eastern and Western cultures:
- In India and other Asian countries, there is a stronger emphasis on community support
- People tend to show up for each other more readily in times of loss
- Western cultures often place more emphasis on individual coping mechanisms
- The power of community support can be particularly beneficial during the grieving process
Grief Tips from an Ayurveda Practitioner
Dr. Vikram shared several insights from her book, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging all aspects of grief:
- It’s okay to not be okay and to experience a range of emotions, including envy or anger
- Practicing self-care is crucial, even when motivation is low
- Relying on habits rather than motivation can be helpful in maintaining routines
- Grief doesn’t always have to be sad; celebrating memories and honoring loved ones can be healing
- Volunteering for causes that mattered to the deceased can be a meaningful way to cope
Dr. Vikram emphasized that grief is not linear and doesn’t follow defined stages. It’s important to allow oneself to experience the full range of emotions without judgment.
Identity and Grief
The loss of a loved one can profoundly impact one’s sense of identity. Dr. Vikram shared her personal experience of facing this challenge:
- Returning to India for the first time since her father’s passing brought up complex emotions
- Simple acts, like filling out a new mailing address, can trigger feelings of loss and change
- It’s important to give oneself grace when navigating these identity shifts
Embracing the Dark Side of Grief
Dr. Vikram stressed the importance of acknowledging and accepting the darker aspects of grief:
- Don’t be afraid to reveal your dark side; grief will reveal it anyway
- Forgive yourself for the difficult emotions and reactions that may arise
- Avoid comparing grief experiences or creating a hierarchy of loss
- Hold space for your own grief and the grief of others
Prioritizing Well-being
In conclusion, Dr. Vikram emphasized the critical importance of self-care and holistic wellness:
- Don’t push your well-being to tomorrow; prioritize it today
- Focus on what you need, understanding your triggers and sources of comfort
- Wellness goes beyond physical health; it encompasses emotional and mental well-being
- Unapologetically prioritize yourself and your needs
By sharing her personal experiences and professional insights, Dr. Shweta Vikram offers a compassionate and practical approach to navigating loss. Her message of self-care, cultural understanding, and embracing all aspects of grief provides hope and guidance for those on their own healing journeys.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How can Ayurvedic principles help with grief?
Ayurvedic principles can help with grief by recognizing individual constitutions (doshas) and how they influence reactions to loss. Understanding one’s constitution can guide personalized approaches to finding balance during the grieving process. Ayurvedic practices, such as specific dietary recommendations and lifestyle adjustments, can support overall well-being during challenging times.
Q: What are some practical ways to honor a loved one’s memory?
There are many ways to honor a loved one’s memory, including cooking their favorite dishes, hosting a dinner party with family and friends to celebrate their life, volunteering for causes they cared about, or creating a special altar or memory space in your home. The key is to find activities that feel meaningful to you and help you maintain a connection with your loved one.
Q: How can I support someone who is grieving?
Supporting someone who is grieving involves being present, listening without judgment, and offering practical help. Avoid comparing grief experiences or trying to “fix” their pain. Instead, acknowledge their feelings, share memories of the deceased if appropriate, and be patient with their grieving process. Offering specific assistance, such as helping with errands or preparing meals, can also be very helpful.
Read more from Drs. Gloria and Heidi here: Mothers and Daughters Working Together in the Healing World – Open to Hope
See them on YouTube: Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley: Finding Hope After Loss (youtube.com)
