My late wife Ely passed away on March 19 after a long illness suffering from Cardiomyopathy. We have been together for almost 30 years and have never separated.
Since her death, I almost went to the graveyard to visit her everyday in spite of looking at the slideshow at home all day of all the beautiful photos including the ones she was in the casket at the funeral service. I was scared to go outside since the day she passed away other than going to the graveyard. I was so used to be with her all my life seeing the phases from being beautiful, intellectual and healthy to the last minute of her life by her death bed.
I find it extremely difficult to accept that everything is now behind me. She has always been my soulmate and I spent my heart and soul in my waking hour and every ounce of my energy in the care of her throughtout her life. Now that she is gone and I felt meaningless to me as though I have no useful purpose in life without her. I really wish I could lie beside her as we have our graves side by side and the marker bearing both names.
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my wife Patt on 2/28/11. She was my life…she and I had only been married for 6 years, as we both had previous marriages. But she was the one, the only one. I too feel like my life is pretty much meaningless now. Half of me is now gone. It’s still hard for me to believe I have lost her. Good luck to you.
My dear husband, Brad passed away from nonhodgkin’s lymphoma at 53. He underwent, much chemo, surgeries and the final hope, a stem cell transplant with his sister’s stem cells. Brad rarely complained–he just wanted to do whatever it took to get better I do understand your pain and loneliness. I can’t believe it’s been 9 months. I think how have I gotten through 9 months without him–I have no answer–one day leads into another and then another. Just know that what you are feeling, many of us have too I’m searching for a purpose or mission–my life revolved around all that was needed to get Brad better. Now I’m at a lost–the mission has ended, now I’ve got to figure out how to come to terms with this life. Try to be kind to yourself liz
Dear Cyril, I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. May you find solace and comfort in the following:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOYC03MBp5s
Hi, my name is Will. I to lost my beautiful wife of 35 years to a CHEMOTHERAPY infection. I’ve been left behind with our beautiful little boy, who is certified special needs. I can not live with anyone else and I’am also terrified of leaving him by himself if something were to happen to me. Even When I’am around other people or family, I still feel so lonely.
Soulmate. That’s what my wife called me after we had been going out for a while. I didn’t know what it was but I was too proud to ask, I just took it as a good thing. She had been having trouble breathing for years and nobody could figure out why. So I spent all my time with her. I helped her up from her chair, helped her to the bathroom, etc. This became my life. We changed our diets and took alternative medicine to make her stronger. We never thought about death.
Two weeks ago today she died in my arms. I know what a soul mate is now… It sounds like we share the same grief. I hope we can all learn to cope with this “long black tunnel”. (Sorry if this is fragmented and missing parts, but I’m only half here.)
My wife of 62 years died Dec 16,2019 from dementia. I was in denial for years and thought it would pass. We were together 67 years, as we met at 17. In 2018, I had dressed her every day and at night prepared her for bed. I did this to try and normalize her life (driving and visiting stores). In Jan 2019, I fell out of bed and the Dr’s diagnosed as sciatica. Unfortunately, it was not diagnosed correctly, some months later. After MRI my ortho surgeon said I had been walking on a broken hip for 10 moths. During the year of 2019 I took care of my wife 24 hours a day, hobbling around on a broken hip. I did not care, as long as she was cared for. I was not going to send her to a nursing home. The last week, hospice attended to her . Although she could no longer speak, two days before she passed away, as I kissed her forehead, she said clear as a bell “I Love You”. That was a gift from God. I will grieve the rest of my life (84 years old). I loved her so much that I can not describe it. I visit her mausoleum several days a week. I would go every day but after surgery., I still have swelling in leg and foot. I have a RN who also assisted my while she was going through the final phase of dementia, who assists me. I guess I have made a shrine in my home office of my wife’s photos and memos. Like I said, I will never get over it. I say rosary twice a day. Hope I do not live to be 100 because I hope to be reunited with my wife in heaven. Lou
i just lost my wife of over 42 years to cancer, her prognosis was stage 4 small cell lung cancer and it had already spread to her bones and brain plus adrenal glands so i knew it was almost inevitable she would pass but in only 2 months she was gone, I was still devastated and numb. I am now completely lost, we had retired to the mountains and built a small cottage and we were so happy with our dogs plus we were really great friends and respected each others opinions and views so we talked quite a bit about politics and other subjects that interested us. Now i have no one to enjoy our home and do not want anyone here since this was our place and our dream and i am too old to try and find someone else to share this place with. I do not know what to do, sell our dream or stay and relive the memories of our lives together, I only have pictures now and they have been placed in every room so I can see her and remember the good and bad times we had, now even the bad times are now good memories since i at least could see her sweet face.