Dear Ruthanne,
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I am so very sorry about the loss of your son Cayden.?? Gloria Horsley asked if I could recommend anything that might help you in finding some support.? After the loss of our son Nicholas 10 years ago I relied heavily on reading everything I could regarding infant loss and grief in general and well as talking to others with infant losses as well.? There are several web sites that have numerous poems, articles, links, etc.? Most of them have chat room capabilities for people who have lost a baby.? The compassionate Friends has an infant loss chat session on Tuesday nights? that can be accessed through the website?? www.compassionatefriends.org .? Another excellent site is www.shareatlanta.org.? This site has many features including a chat schedule.? There are also Share groups that con be attended.? The National Share site is www.nationalshareoffice.com.? They will also send you a packet of information and a free newsletter subscription for a year if you request it.? The site www.hygeia.org is probably the best site I have used for pregnancy and infant loss.? This was started by an OB/GYN and professor of Obstetrics at Yale University, Richard Berman.? He also wrote an excellent book that I highly recommend called “Parenthood Lost > Healing the Pain after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death”.? I found this really helpful.? This site allows you to sign in and answer a questionnaire that then places you on a parent list that can be accessed by others if you agree.? This feature allows you to search out other people who have joined who have had similar losses.? I do know of two people who have attended our pregnancy and Infant loss group of our Compassionate Friends chapter who have lost babies to what was initially thought of as SIDS but were eventually told that their baby had aspirated or had been asphyxiated and therefore SIDS was ruled out.? I have recently attended a conference on SIDS and was surprised at the US government programs that are available for this kind of loss which exclude other kinds of infant loss.? I think, after years of doing the why me and just why, questions, I have come to the conclusion for my self that in the end, when our babies are gone, the way we lost them becomes secondary to the fact that they and the future we planned to have with them are gone.? It is a very lonely road but it certainly helped me to find people to talk to who had also lost a baby even though none of their losses were similar to mine.?? You are welcome to email me also any time.? Let me know if you find any of these sites helpful.?
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www.compassionatefriends.org
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www.hygeia.org
www.shareatlanta.org
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www.wintergreenpress.com
www.misschildren.org
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Warmest regards,
Susan Hawkes,
The Compassionate Friends? (TCF) Regional Coordinator for Southern California
Co-Chapter Leader for TCF Verdugo Hills, Glendale, California
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Tags: grief, hope
We have lots of resources, articles, and ideas for self-care while on this path after the death of a child posted at http://www.KotaPress.com — see the Loss Journal. In particular, you’ll find a section of articles about Parent Support posted at:
http://kotapress.com/section_articles/parentSupport/index.htm
Miracles to you and my heart to you for your child’s death.
k-