Do call a friend when you are blue.
Do water the flowers and take time to smell them; work in the garden, pull out weeds.
Do something positive for yourself every day.
Do get enough sleep.
Do exercise daily.
Do remember to take time to eat.
Do think positive thoughts every day.
Do spend time with family and friends.
Do get as much support as you can.
Do open the mail.
Do treasure your loved ones.
Do resist the temptation to run away from your pain by keeping yourself frantically busy every waking moment.
Do journal in a notebook about your feelings.
Do see a therapist if you feel constantly overwhelmed.
Do allow people to help you.
Do be patient with yourself.
Do take your own car to an event, so you can leave when you want to.
Do be grateful for what you have.
Do allow enough time for healing.
Do watch funny movies.
Do listen to quiet music.
Do create positive affirmations about yourself.
Do pursue a satisfying creative outlet.
Do stay focused on specifics to help you get through the day.
Don’t stay in bed the entire day.
Don’t do things you don’t want to do if you feel pushed into them by well meaning friends.
Don’t stay too isolated.
Don’t turn invitations away.
Don’t overindulge in alcohol or sweets.
Don’t be disappointed in yourself, grief takes more energy than you would ever have imagined.
Don‘t throw out or give away the clothes until you are ready.
Don’t write thank you notes until you feel up to it.
Don’t, if possible, make any major lifestyle changes or decisions … for now.
Excerpt from THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF: The Journey Through Loss to Life and Laughter (Sourcebooks, Inc.; ISBN 1-932783-48-2) by Gloria Lintermans & Marilyn Stolzman, Ph.D., L.M.F.T.
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Thank you for the wonderful list of reminders of do’s and don’ts for those that are grieving. Those of us who are in the midsts of our grief often need those reminders. Our thoughts and actions are often so consumed by grief we forget we still are alive. These help us make it through our days.
Another good one to add is “Do remember to just breathe.” Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the pain of loss that sometimes it gets hard to breathe at all.