Webster’s Definition of Surrender: To give oneself over to something (as an influence); to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another. Synonym: Relinquish — give up; to withdraw or retreat.

Sometimes grief is so painful and your loss so deep that you might want to surrender to your darkest emotions, but society tells you “you must be strong.” What if society’s definitions of weak and strong are incorrect? What if being stoic or strong is really weak because it avoids dealing with one’s true emotions? What if surrendering to how you really feel is the way to move through your grief in the healthiest manner?

Take into consideration that in spiritual terms, “surrender” is the most important concept to embrace in order to be able to achieve enlightenment, which is a movement toward the idea of universal human progress. In order to move forward onto this plain of enlightenment, one must surrender to his or her circumstances.

For example, take the case of a man struggling in quicksand. What happens? Each time he fights to stay above the sinking ground, he loses more and more of his footing. If he can only relax and surrender to his circumstance, he will be able to stay on the surface long enough to see a branch that may be extended to him.

In a three-step process, you might try applying this concept to your life.

  1. Surrender to your circumstances of the loss of a loved one
  2. Accept your circumstances
  3. Understand how the circumstances of your life have changed, and that they are not necessarily better or worse – just different

When your mind is able to stop fighting or denying the circumstances of your life, as they now stand without your loved one, the knowledge of how to rise above your negatively perceived place may come to you naturally. This is the true meaning of the term “going with the flow.”  By tearing down walls, you allow the flow of energy to lift you toward “the answer” or enlightenment.

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Ellen Gerst

Ellen Gerst is a Life Coach who specializes in grief and relationships, an author, and speaker. Widowed young at the age of 39, she writes from a “been there/done that” perspective. Losing her husband to suicide after 20 years of marriage set her on a path to finding her true self and the inner strength she possessed. She shares both her journey and her perspective on how to move gracefully and successfully through the grief journey. She is the author of “Suddenly Single," which is a compendium of articles covering the practical, emotional and spiritual aspects of the grief journey. She went on to capture the continuation of her story in the sequel to "Suddenly Single," aptly named: “Love After Loss: Writing The Rest of Your Story.” “Love After Loss” is a blueprint on how one can find new love after the loss of a partner from death, divorce, or break-up. It includes coaching exercises; how to Internet date; and how to have a healthy and successful relationship – all intertwined with true life dating tips and stories. Ellen has penned many other books on coping with grief, as well as others on such subjects as dating and relationships, caregiving for aging parents, spirituality, confidence building, the power of positive thought, suicide awareness, teen pregnancy prevention, fitness and weight loss, and social media and networking. She is also the co-editor of an anthology of real life changing stories, “Thin Threads of Grief & Renewal.” The stories tell of untold grief and how each author found personal renewal after his/her great loss. It is an inspirational volume for those mourning any sort of loss. To listen to Ellen's radio show: Click Here Visit Ellen on her website at http://www.LNGerst.com where she has various free downloads on coping with grief and finding love after loss. Join Ellen on Facebook for every day tips on finding love after loss and coping with grief. Finding Love After Loss http://bit.ly/cxipZ0 Words of Comfort To Pave Your Journey Of Loss http://www.facebook.com/WordsOfComfortToPaveYourJourneyOfLoss

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