That first Valentine’s Day after Rhod died was very difficult for me. This had been our special day and now he was gone. He died on Feb 6, 1999, and eight days later it was Valentine’s Day! I was angry! I was sad. I was lonely.
In our 30 years together, Rhod always showered me with gifts and little surprises. On one occasion, he gave me a toy shaped like a heart with diamond earrings attached to it. Every year, he gave me a gigantic card with beautiful words along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s day.
After he died, I was so glad that I had kept his cards over the years. For the first three years after his death, on Valentine’s Day, I bought myself a dozen cream roses. It reminded me of Rhod and this gave me comfort. The flowers were from him.
That first Valentine’s Day after his death, I brought out all of my cards and read them and then displayed them on the dining room table. These cards brought me comfort too. I cried but I also laughed that day.
In the following years on Valentine’s Day, I reflected and remembered and talked about the good memories. I was thankful and felt blessed that we were able to celebrate 30 Valentine’s Days together.
If Valentine’s Day was not an important occasion for you, that is okay too. Each of us is different. We grieve and mourn in our own way and timeline. Reach out for what gives you comfort.
Tags: Depression, grief, hope
I just lost my husband December 15,2009. It was hard enough to get through the holidays and now Valentine’s Day. My husband spoiled me with thoughtful gifts. He was a sweetheart. I always told him he had a heart gold. We were together 7 years and married 4 of those years. I miss him so much. My heart just aches. I just found the nlast Valentine’s Day card he gave me. This will give me comfort and get me through this Valentine’s Day. Every card he gave me will so much more special to me. I thinks these small things is a start to my healing process.
I was hoping to get your opinion on something since you are someone who can relate. My father passed away in January. My mother and Father were married over 50 years. She was his princess and he constantly showered her with little gifts, flowers, and sings of affection. I know that this first Valentines will be especially difficult for her. I was thinking of anonymously sending her a flower and a card with a message of how their example of what love is will live on forever through all who knew of their love. Do you think that would cause more pain than joy? I was even thinking of doing this every year. As someone who is living that situation would it help or just hurt?
Thanks so much.
You have great memories of Rhod and it is great to see how you to choose to remember those special occassions with him in you own way. Keep his memories alive and hsare it with those close to you and those who are important in your life.
I find your blog both insightful and comforting. My son recently committed suicide and has communicated with us in many ways. This inspired me to write a blog as well: Channeling Erik: Conversations with my Son in the Afterlife. (www.drmedhus.com/channelingerik) It is my hope that, with the help of a talented medium, a book can come of this. The goal would be to, with Erik’s help, elucidate and demystify the death process, the nature of the afterlife, the survival of consciousness after death, reincarnation, how thought creates reality, and the quantum physics behind all of it, among other spiritual matters. I hope to help those who are bereaved, those who fear death, and those who are curious to understand the bigger picture. Healing others seems to be important to my own healing process. Please keep up the good work. Your wisdom is sorely needed in a world that yearns for spirituality and a deeper understanding. xoxo Elisa