It is now 8 months since I lost my Darling wife of 36 years and I cry more than I have ever done before(she was 56 years of age when she died after fighting cancer for 2.5 yrs).For me there will never be “closure”
I am so scared for her that perhaps after this life there is no better place
I feel angry that this beautiful person had to die.Even though I have children and
grandchildren who are precious to me and help fill some of the void, I do feel lonely and somehow like a lesser being, my darling made me whole bacause when 2 people love each other they do become one.I can never get rid of this trerrible
loneliness and pain that I feel because it seems like the best part of me has been torn out of my body .
I do feel angry because in the latter years of our life when we could spend more time on the things we loved to do together , this beautiful lady has been cruelly taken away from me.
I do feel angry and sad bacause this person who has always had so much love to give can no longer bring joy and happiness to her children and grandchildren
I do feel angry and sad because in spite of her courage and determination, she still had to succumb to that terrible disease. And dear Lord how sad I feel at the surprise and pain in her beautiful hazel eyes as she gave her last breath, a look which will be seared in my brain forever.
I have gone back to work after 2 or so years of precious time being near my love during her struggle with cancer and I consider it a priviledge that she wanted me near her to share this terrible journey and my only wish during her illness was that I could take take this pain from her and willingly carry it myself .
At work I cope reasonably well because my darling was not part of this environment , but I don’t cope well with social events with family and friends because everything reminds me of the beautiful times we shared together and then for days after these events it hurts like hell and I descend again into that familiar dark place.
I spent all of the first 8 weeks after her death In this dark terrible place, not knowing at all how to deal with this new reality , but now I am out of that phase, I can now cope a little better,but I am far from healed, what makes it worse is that I no longer willingly share my grief with loved ones around me who were affected by her death (and I used to lean on for support) because they are recovering and I don’t want them to hurt all over again, and so this leaves me more isolated.
We shared dreams and plans of the things we could do TOGETHER, -all of this has become meaningless to me and I feel as though I have no useful purpose in life without her. For the sake of my family I will survive of course and try to be there for them, because that’s what my darling would have wanted, but I do so with a terrible aching in my heart.And my Children can see the sadness in my eyes, but there is little I can do.I pray that
I will heal and be stronger as time passes, but dear Lord how I miss Her
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Today I continued to sift through all the many cards and letters that my darling and I had saved over so many years, each card or letter I find with her handwriting l hold so close to my heart, because like all the other reminders of her, -her photographs, her clothing, her voice on the videocam are all that remain and have become more precious than any jewel could be, It’s 8 months since her passing and my longing to have her near me is as strong as ever, my love for her is as bright as ever, . I try so hard to feel “normal” again but nothing works. I love and miss her so much, and the pain goes on -when will this terrible agony stop?
I lost my beautiful wife to cancer as well about 7 weeks ago. She fought ovarian cancer bravely for 2.5 years as your wife did. Patt and I were only married for a little over 6 years. It was the second marriage for both of us. I’m 64, she was the same age. We were a perfect match for each other. We both had just retired and were planning on doing so many things together. My family is all about 800mile away, so I am really alone here. I hurt so bad for her, I can’t describe it, I know you know what I mean.We were a team, we did everything together. I saw her die here at the house while under hospice care. I too see no reason to go on. I will but only because she would want me to. I have never felt so bad in my entire life. So…I do know what you are going through. Prayers are sent for some healing. Bill
I am so sorry Bill, as I read your post tears start to flow, It’s so sad that this terrible common loss is the bond that brings us here.I am 60 and our great love was caravanning, and this is what we had planned for such a long time, with my darling I always felt good and secure and now just loneliness, I do have family close by and they have helped me so much but during the times I am alone I always feel such terrible sadness, and this site does help to ease the pain a little, so if it also helps you,please post or email me.
Tonight was a better night, spent in the company of my dearest family, I have returned now to our big empty house that once echoed with laughter and the sound of her voice that I miss so very much.
I now already know that this is the calm before the storm,my heart and my soul will soon come to realize the cold hard reality that she is no longer by my side, and will never be again, it’s only a matter of time before the loneliness, the sadness and the emptiness return like a wave over me I brace myself to face that dark place once again, I look to her picture and silently ask her her for strength and guidance, always searching for an answer as to why it had to be this way?
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Gene thanks so much for the emails. I’m glad you can at least see your family. My family is 800miles away so I don’t see them often. It’s the weekend again and I’m really having a tough time. It’s funny as I too look at Patt’s picture and ask her to give me strength. I’m glad, in a way, that she doesn’t have to go through what I’m going through. She was strong and probably would have done better than I’m doing, but the pain I feel is ever present, no matter what I’m doing. It’s always in the pit of my stomach. I know she had pain while fighting the cancer. but her pain is now over…it’s my turn. One day at a time is all I can hope for.
Bill
Dear Gentlemen,
I read your postings and my heart reaches out. I am a widow of 22 months but my husband of over 40 years died suddenly in a small plane crash in which he was the pilot. There was no warning. I met him at age 17, married him at age 21, and lost him at age 62. The path we are all on is long and dark and unbelievably treacherous…because only others on the path know the way. I reach out to you and extend my hand…you are not alone…my e-mail is galegott@aol.com and I am reaching out. Somewhere ahead there is a light for each of us to find.
Thank you so much Gale for your recent post and I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband. You are right it does feel as though we are on such a trecherous path that sometimes it’s so very easy to get so terribly lost in all of the sadness and emptiness we feel, but each of us posting here has progressed to different stage along this path and we can at least offer guidance and support to the other person who may have already past through one of those difficult stages.
Bill I agree with you that even though our dearest partners suffered so much, -in a way we are living the same hell over and over again which we would never want them to experience.
It’s strange that because of genetics my life plan was always to die before my darling Anna, -but then I realize that perhaps that would have been the coward’s way out
Gale and Bill my thoughts are with you, and isn’t that the most amazing thing that regardless where we geographically we can still extend a hand of friendship and support, to make the journey just a little less lonely. -please take care
Bill and Gene,
Coming home after being away was as difficult as you know all too well. The house almost yells at me with silence and mockery of what I had, cherished, and is now gone. I, too, look at Ken’s picture, sleep with it in my arms and wonder how am I possibly going to make it thru the years ahead. But, I know others do and all we can do is understand what the other is feeling and reach out and say we understand and you are not alone. The waves of pain are sometimes unendurable…if I am not feeling dry sobs or ready to faint I think I am doing better….it is the unending emptiness…my children are far away, 3000 miles and on another continent. Friends have been kind but only those who walk this path understand. We each must find a way to find in our minds and hearts a bit of peace and respite either with a memory or with the knowledge that we were loved. My thoughts are with you both, Gale
In 1day’s time it will be exactly 9 months since my darling passed away , nothing has really changed, except that it now feels like a century that I haven’t seen her smiling face, heard the sound of her voice, or felt the security of her her warm embrace, always ttelling my heart and my soul,- year after year, -day after day that I was home and I was safe.
Now, each special day that passes, once reason for celebration and joy is filled with loneliness and grief ,as I continue to search for that purpose in life , to help me face each lonely day as ” I ” instead of “We “
Gene:
My wife, Janet passed away from PC on 2/3/16 after 43 days. While we have extensive friends and family (on her side) we have no children, We have been together since 1982 and she knows me inside and out. I depended upon her so much. They say things get better but how can it?
Although in good shape I pray for God to take me. It’s just unbearable.
I see that your post was 5 years ago. I can’t imagine any hope but was curious to see how you handled it. Feel free to contact me at TheBrandyRoad@gmail.com
Thank you,
Rich
I can’t console, I can’t console
My only love is now a soul
How do I live and start to mend
When my only love has reached the end?
I miss her smell her words her touch
That for so long have meant so much.
When her final moment came
She looked at me to mend the pain
I would have given every bit of me
to stop the pain and set her free
She looked at me to understand
But all I could do is hold her hand
I can’t console, I can’t console
I’ve lost my heart my love my soul
Dear Lord I loved her more than me
This isn’t the way it was meant to be
I vowed when we met to hold her dear
but all in vain, she’s no longer near
I miss her love her smile her kiss
Dear Lord how could it end like this?
I can’t console, I can’t console
You are my love my heart my soul
You are everything that I hold dear
How can I live without you near?
How can I begin to understand?
That I can no longer hold your hand
I cry but you are no longer here
to talk, to touch, to calm my fears.
Please fill my dreams so that I can feel
Your sweet, sweet love when it was real
I can’t console I can’t console
Are you safe my love, where is your soul?
I long to know you are safe and well
To help me live through my lonely hell
Are you free from hurt, are you free from pain?
Please dear Lord let her smile again
Remove all hurt from her beautiful soul
So I can console, I can console
Today would have been our 37th our Anniversary I set the table for the evening meal and play all the music we both loved so much.
I put on a slideshow of all the many photos of my soulmate that I had digtized and collated (to keep sane in the weeks following her death.)
I think if she is looking down she would be happy for me to enjoy this first anniversary meal without her, as though she was there with me.
The slideshow flicks through, -I see her when she was my beautiful girlfriend, and then my beautiful bride, and then all the other phases in her life where we had lived as one, never ageing in my heart and soul during that time.
It’s really hard accept that all is behind me because like the slideshow our life has slipped by in a microsecond.
The beautiful aria “va pensiero” is playing in the background, it talks about our thoughts of love being carried on golden wings across the ocean of time and space to reach our loved one no longer with us, my tears start again, but my heart soars at the possibility that somehow all our soulmates can hear the faint echo of our undying love.
Dear Gene, that was a beautiful thing to do. I have a difficult time looking at pictures of Brad. I am thinking of you and hoping this will post since I’ve had such difficulty with this. liz
My dear husband Brad passed away in Aug. from nonhodgkin’s lymphoma. Ourlives were so full the last year with dr’.s appt.s, many bouts of chemo, 2 surgeries, and our final hope–a stem cell transplant. He fought so hard and I felt as though we had a mission together and now that is gone and I am struggling without him . He was such a simple and uncomplicated man and didn’t complain. He just wanted to get better and would do whatever it took. I hate feeling so lost and exhausted from thinking constantly and just no energy of desire to do much. thanks for listening. liz
Liz, thank you so much for posting your story, I am so sorry that you had to lose your Brad, I truly understand how hard it is to lose your soulmate when every waking hour and every ounce of energy has been spent in trying to find a miracle that would keep them alive, and then when the end comes you have no mission to accomplish and exhaustion sets in.Take care Liz and remember that there are many of us who understand, are prepared to listen and share that pain with you.
Liz and Gale, I apologize for not having posted anything here for a while. I’ve been dealing with some carpel tunnel issues. I appreciate both of your posting and relating your stories. Liz I know exactly what you are feeling. My Patt was a fighter too, she never wanted to give up, but she just wasn’t able to deal with the cancer at the end. I was her caregiver…wish I still was. Patt died on 2/28, I still feel lost, still look for her when I come in the house from outside. She was such a part of me. I’m pulling for you and if you want to write my email is willgard46@gmail.com
Gale, I just sent you an email, your post as well as Liz’s have been beneficial to me.
Gene..I sent you an email as well.
I wish all of us will find some comfort soon…somehow
I feel like we are in this boat together and sometimes the seas get really rough and the waves knock us about and on those days I realize I forgot my life preserver.
I am spending this weekend at our home in Napa…my son and his friends have come to share this weekend. Today would have been Ken’s 69th birthday. The house which we built together screams of times past and love shared. It is a joy to see my children and to know that their lives are ahead of them but for me the despair not only for the loss of Ken but for the loss of the relationship and life shared seems almost too much to bear. My heart goes out to each of you who are on this path of grief with me. I am told and am trying hard to believe that in time we will find some solace and some ability to see the beauty and the joy around us. Right now we each feel the pain of the loss and, in part I think, rightly so, as our lives were so rich by the love we shared is it not fitting that the loss would be felt as much as the joy shared. My hand extends to you who are expressing your love and your pain…you are not alone. Gale
I lost my wife from lung cancer on Saturday. I tried my best to help her fight this terrible disease but in the end she choked on her own blood while giving her a bath. I tried to revive her but her heart stopped for over 3 minutes and she died in the hospital. The pain that I feel now is beyond anything I have experienced. I hope no one has to feel that pain. I am experiencing pain, lost feeling, almost a give up attitude on life. She was too young at 62 and going forward with my life will not be easy. God help me with this pain.
Steve…you have nothing but my heartfelt sympathies. I lost my wife, Patt age 64, to ovarian cancer on 2/28/11. She fought hard for 2.5 years. I know the pain you feel. I still feel it. I have good days and bad days, mostly bad ones. God is about all that can help and even then, I’m not sure. I cry a lot…every day. God bless you and give you comfort. Bill
Dear Bill and Steve, I have such difficulty posting here–computer rejects it sometimes–I feel for both of you–I am in the same boat, Brad passed away 9 months ago and boy oh boy it is hard. My email is: Maddie2000@mybluelight.com take care liz
Dear Steve, Please know that all of us are experiencing the pain of having lost not only our spouse but in many ways our lives…the road is very difficult…but know that you are not alone and that each of us is willing to respond and “talk” with you in whatever way we can. My heart goes out to you…it is so raw right now…I am moving towards the end of my second year…and the sadness is still so overwhelming…but knowing that others are thinking of you and hoping that on some level you feel that as a comfort. Gale
Bill, LIz, and Gale. Thank you for your nice words. I am having a bad day today and it is good to hear from people that experience this pain because you can’t understand unless you feel it. I am trying to go forward but everything that I did was for her. I sometimes blame myself for not working harder to stop her from smoking. I know the pain you all are going through and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. My wife was a very religous women that was better than me and she kept me in balance. During her worst part of sickness I would cry and she would tell me not to cry for me now because I am still here. She had such faith from the time I met her she would always say to me that she would not be on this earth 1 minute longer than she was suppose to, and her body was just a shell . She was Catholic and prayed her rosary every morning and night for over 20 years and did not miss a time. God why does a wonderful person like that have to go so soon, why not take me instead. I know where the statement comes from now that hell can be on this earth. I would joke with her and say please put a good word to God for me if you see him first, and I would be disappointed if you are not waiting on me when my time comes. I stopped work to take care of her during her last 8 months and God blessed me with that time to tell her a thousand times how much I love you, but now I must go forward in life and I don’t have any desire to go back to work but I know that I have to pay the bills. She told me to keep living but it is really hard to enjoy anything anymore. God please give be strength
I recently lost my wife to Breast Cancer Stage IV and she fought this for several years. We were married for 13 years. She went to be with the Lord Sept. 15th, 2011 and our anniversary would have been Sept. 18th. My father died of cancer Sept. 10th, 2004.
I have been going through therapy and some counseling but I am not sure that it has helped much. I do not know what to do without her.
I feel like I am already dead in a way but I know I am not. Knowing she was saved through God’s son has given me comfort. I pray often and do not know how to deal with this at 43 years old.
Loss of a Mom,Child, Father, and now wife. -Michael
Dear Mike,
I understand the feeling of being one of the “walking dead” that so many of us feel after the loss of someone we shared our lives with and built our lives around. I lost my husband two and a half years ago in a small plane accident and am still walking in a daze trying to act like a normal person. I appreciate the grief you are feeling and my only hope to you is that, in truth, we each do walk this path alone and yet by reaching out to others on the path we are not alone. I am reaching out to you and telling you that in time you will be able to remember the joy without the tears and the pain. You are still a young man and there is a life ahead…no matter what you feel right now…take care of yourself, continue the therapy, know the pain is real and do not feel you need to fight it…but it will, in time, ease and the way forward will be easier. If you have a strong faith in God then turn to him for comfort and prayer. Gale
It’s been 1 yr and 1 month and I still cry every day she was the best part of me. I miss her so much..How do I go on. clif
Clif, I hear your pain and I understand the despair…we have all lost the “better part” of our lives…but with the loss comes the knowlege that we gained so much from the relationship…treasure the memories even if they bring pain, treasure the life that you had because that life still lives within you…It will be three years for me this August…and it is as if it had happened a minute ago…there was no warning…just a phone call…and with that call my life as I had known it died also…but I treasure his picture and what we shared…please do not despair…please know others are thinking of you.
how do I go on .I’m having trouble every day dealing with life. I make mistakes every day. I got arrested the first time I left the house. I miss her so much, the weekends are the worst. I lost her on a friday night. I’m so sad.
I walked around the house calling her name I’m losing it I don;t know what I’m doing I hate saturdays
It is almost 3 years since my wife of 37 years died of colon cancer. The pain never goes away-a picture, her voice left on an answering machine, handwriting, anything and everything triggers memories.
How I wish I had treated her like a queen. I wish I could take back even the slightest negative comment or remark I made. She was so brave and waited for her death, completed her bucket list, arranged her own funeral, …
I miss her. I have a companion now who makes me live my life but even a few minutes of loneliness hurts. It really hurts.
I lost my angel wife to cancer 3 weeks ago. We were married 5 years an together 8. I miss her so much, she was only 34. I just can’t stand spending a lifetime without her with me. We had such a happy married. Life, I knew this day would come but it still doesn’t make it easier to bear. We shared so much together, we hadn’t had children yet due to the cancer an maybe that that’s a good thing as I’m in no fit state to look after anyone else. I just miss her so much, I’m glad she went before me as I’d hate for her to have to go threw this. I’m ok, I just feel alone. All the dreams we had now are pointless. I’ll get through this but I just can’t get over not holding her. She died with a smile on her face, which is how she. Led her. Life.. Smiling. I’m scared of a long life ahead without her. I go to the graveyard everyday an although I’m sad there, I feel close to her. I pray Allah will help me through this an I’m grateful as we had such a. Wonderful marriage. I’m always thankful for that. Today has been toug sorting her stuff out. The flat feels like home but the flat misses her even, stupid it know but everything misses her touch. Food doesn’t taste the same as not interested I cooking for one, cooking for her was a honour..
My wife of 4 years Tracie Pearl Blair took her life 9-7-2014.
Have cried for 5 weeks. I know time will help, but I do not see how this changed
who I am will ever change. She was deeply depressed and had been seeing a
therapist ever wed. for past 2 years. She had said she simply wanted her pain to end.
I KNOW I WILL GET THOUGH IT SOME HOW
It’s 8 pm and I was just outside in my PJs looking for my wife’s calico cat, “Poodles” I did a walk around the sheep pasture where our 3 sheep, Flopsy, Mopsy and Cottontail silently watch this new nightly ritual of mine. I shine the flashlight through the woods hoping to see the reflection of the cats bright yellow eyes. I spend a half hour looking around the property and barn. I’m concerned that maybe something caught her but then as I get back to the house I see “Poodles” patiently waiting for me by the kitchen door.
My wife, Janet died of Pancreatic cancer on 02/03/16 and that darn cat, which I did not want 11 years ago is now a very important link to Janet. On December 20th Janet decided to go to the local ER because of what we thought was acid reflux which had been bothering her for the previous week. The next day the hospital informed us that there was a mass on her pancreas. I immediately made arrangements with Sloan in NYC. At first the doctor viewing the CAT scan felt the cancer was limited to the pancreas. After a second CAT scan 2 weeks later they informed us the cancer was in the liver and was extremely aggressive, there was nothing they could do. We went home to the steady stream of visits from family and friends. Five days after the last diagnosis Janet passed with me by her side.
Janet and I met on my first day of work in September 1978. I have to admit that being a typical 24 year old male what I really first noticed an 18 year old slim blond wearing a black corduroy jump suit with red trim. In the beginning we hung around together in a social after work group. I did not ask her out since I thought the age difference of 6 years was too much. Then one day she was 20 and I 26, seemed she was catching up to my age so we left the “group” and went out on our official first date.
Janet was very health conscious, maintained a weight of 125lbs, exercised daily, vegetarian for 20 years. We would travel to the health store in Ottsville every Sunday to pick up groceries and have lunch. We were living the life and our dream together on our small farm at the end of the lane. Janet still worked where we first met while I took a new job which allowed the flexibility of working from anywhere. I choose to get a small office within a block of Janet’s workplace. We drove in together, had lunch and discussed our day on the ride home, it never got old. As it will be inscribed on our headstone, she loved me and I loved her.
While we prayed for her recovery I also added a silent prayer that if it was not to be that she would not suffer. Only that silent prayer was answered. Within moments of being given the initial diagnosis Janet said she accepted any outcome as it was Gods will. Never once in those 43 days did she cry, get angry or ask why me? Her grace was inspiring to everyone around her. We did have time to talk and reflect on our 35 years together. I can honestly say we had no regrets or bad days. During her final days Janet had ask that I honor several of her requests.
1. “Quit that stupid job”……..I did
2. “Buy a new SUV”……..I did
3. “Help Mark with his website”…..I am
4. ” Don’t kill yourself”…..Although death would be a welcome relief I’m still here.
5. “Look after our 7 nephews and 1 niece”……I’m trying. About 1 week after Janet was diagnosed with PC our 21 year old nephew was diagnosed with PC. Two days after Janet’s passing the nephew had a Whipple performed at Sloan. He still has 6 months of Chemo ahead and will be having a CAT scan done in two days because of reoccurring symptoms….. Please pray for him.
8. “Don’t move some hot number in here”….Janet was teasing because she knew I never would or ever will.
9. “Don’t sell the farm”…..not in my lifetime.
10. And “Spread my ashes across the property” she loved so much…….I will.
I was truly blessed to have been loved and to have loved Janet all these years. The life we had together most people could only dream of. It gives me strength to get up in the morning.
As you know from your own experience the pain is overwhelming and unbearable but Janet expected me to handle it and not give up……I won’t.
I ask God to help all of us through our pain and suffering…….he will.
Hi Rich,
You where lucky man with Janet I lost my Icus over a month ago she was my past present and future like you taking care of the farm that of both of you loved I taking care that I have promised to he before she passed a way. She was my protector lover, wife, care taker partner in bad and good times mother of my kids for 51 years she was 16 and I was 18 when we get married we never regret to get married that early She loved arts therefore we travelled to visit museum’s all over the eart I never been crazy about art but I can tell you where you can find washrooms in major museums. She loved reading everything where she can learn how to be more human. In opposite I red only programming manuals now try read up on now how to survive without her. She was care giver for severely disabled people she was the one whom come home and complained about her self or others not giving 120 % of them self that day at work. She was dedicated to me and her kids and for her job which she retired from after 26 years. Fortunately I have wood shop in the basment that is because 12 years ago she wanted to have our kitchen be renovated that turned out to be my project ever since I built many projects that includes book shelfs cabinets beads the last project I have completed with the help of my grand sons that was across to her grave. I fill some time confused guilt for letting her go mind you tried hold her back but that darn cancer was stronger then us. I visit her grave evry day with red coronation in my hand mind you I never noticed she loved red but our house built with red bricks most of clothes have red in it and me was greeting her on her birth days with red roses or corporation’s (Which ever was cheaper) I’m in the process of finalizing our financials. I will seek help by visiting group of widows and widowers that may help me a bit Please let me know how you make out and if you interested in I let you know how I geting by
It’s been just over 3 months now that my beautiful Tracy has passed from Pancreatic cancer at the age of 47. Like so many of you I am a complete mess, I’ve never felt this alone in my life. She was an incredible woman and the best friend I have ever had, I feel extremely lucky to have met my soulmate in this life which I know is a hard thing to come by. She was diagnosed on 03/28/16 and passed on 05/22/16, I thank God everyday that she never suffered. Not once did she complain except for she’d tell me baby my stomach is bothering me but that was it. She still wanted to go to work everyday and walk at lunch, never did she want to stop. When we were told that she had stage 4 PC the same thing her grandmother died from 3 years earlier we knew the road ahead was not good. I know when you lose the one’s you love it’s so very hard but Iosing my soulmate, wife, best friend and the mother of our 19 yr old son has physically and emotionally beat me down. I want to tell everyone out there that is going through the same grief and pain, God bless you all and thanks for letting me share a bit of my pain.
So sorry I feel the same way we were married for 43 years and she was taken from me 9 months ago take care
Please contact me. I lost my wife in 2014 and have the same feelings. She was the glue. I cannot reconcile my feelings. I have family and all that. Have you found comfort ? Please contact me. Millerlbutler@gmail.com. How God could take a woman who had done nothing but goodness. Only He can explain. And I can’t think of any explanation!!
Hello everyone,i just have my wife gone this 5 of october and o boy there’s nothing that can easy this pain, just wonder how can be so much pain and feeling so lonely (sorry my grammar) surrounded by family and friends, i’m ready to go with her, but at the same time i’m afraid to go to a different place
My wife just died and you nicely expressed the terrible emotions of losing one so loved.
Thank you,
I lost my wife last December I’m devastated by her loss I tryed to be bussy with the projects that I have promised to her prior to her death She passed a way at home because she wanted to be home with me for that. For my self that was privilege and honor escort her to the getes of haven I hope i will follow her soon untill then I will spend much time as possible with grand sons
I understand what going thru
Wow , I feel you pain friend..Iam just 6 weeks out from losing my wife of 40 + years..All good ones ..I will see her again in the resurrection..that helps. Thanks for sharing..Dave
My beautiful wife has just passed following an 8 year fight with cancer, I have lost the best person l have ever met , life feels very unfair, I hope you can find peace.
“. For me there will never be “closure
I am so scared for her that perhaps after this life there is no better place”
I can relate to much of your pain. This pain is worse than anything I have experienced.
My wife was 69 when she died on Nov 08 2017, not after an illness, but she spent ten days in hospital after a fall that came like a bolt out of the blue, never having regained awareness or full consciousness. I was at her bedside for twelve hours a day for those ten days and would have been there for 24 hours a day if they had let me. I have been pretty much agnostic my whole adult life, but I have never prayed so much as I did for those ten days by her bedside. For those ten days I was constantly reassuring her, that I love her and that she was my best friend, even though the doctor said her brain damage was so severe that she could not hear or understand me. We didn’t get to say goodbye, and there was so much left unsaid. We had been together since we were teenagers, and were married when she was seventeen and I was nineteen. Our 52 wedding anniversary would have been just a few weeks after she died. I was sure that I would have been the one to go first since I have ongoing heart problems.
“I am so scared for her that perhaps after this life there is no better place”
That too is what worries me most. I am a basket case even now, worrying about this. I weep a lot of the time.
I type short letters to her every day as a way of coping, but the pain is unending. If I could have some assurance that the essence of her and her consciousness is OK somewhere, I would be able to cope somehow, but right now I am inconsolable.
I lost my wife the 5th of April 2018 burried the 11th I miss her so much its1:40 a.m. and here I I sit crying alone and grieving I am just starting the painful process of getting up and moving on. I am so alone.
I lost my wife of 20 years, 2 months ago.
I was the drinker, but she was the one that contacted liver disease, Non-alcoholic steatohepatitis (NASH). Still trying to get to grips with that.
After many months as her full time caregiver, watching her strength ebb away, she was finally at the top of the transplant list and admitted to hospital
She died in my arms a few days later, before the surgery.
My world has turned upside down, I seem consumed with guilt, anxiety, fear, anger and indecision.
I stare at pictures of my wife all day, completely at a loss as to what to do next. I cry in private, but the pain does not end.
I feel like I have no control of anything, my reason for living has left me, and I couldn’t stop it happening.
I am not at all suicidal, that would just transfer my pain to someone else.
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This piece feels like I could have written it . I lost my wife of 28 year suddenly to a brain hermitage 13 months ago . I too have adapted and am busy doing things that I used to do without my wife. But there is a massive void at the centre of my life which nothing can fill . My friends and family have been very supportive but I too no longer feel I can burden them with the helpless feeling of despair and pointlessness that overwhelm me maybe twice a week. My wife gave so much was so resourceful and strong and whenever I am doing something we used to together I feel a physical pain in my chest at the loss and her absence
Steve 23 May 2018
The same as you replied to. someone you said things exactly how I feel. I lost my wife of 51 years suddenly from a stroke at Christmas 2017 and writing this in June I feel so empty as you say there seems no point to anything even though I have a brilliant family including four daughters I can tell them bits but will not lumber them with my utter despair . This week there was a show at our theatre that I had booked tickets for last October that Jan was really looking forward to and I could only think about how her face would have been lit up laughing and singing along and of course I was broken with those thoughts in my mind , the next day I was in floods of tears when tending her grave . I find this site very helpful as it shows me that I am actually not going mad but grieving in the same way that many other people are in a strange way we are like a family brought together by a common cause we know we will get there one day but that day is not in view for so many of us as yet
I too feel like I could have written this piece. I came upon this at almost 3:00 A.M.. Just another empty sleepless night. I lost my wife after 37 years of marriage in Sept, 2017, and just had her memorial service May 5, 2018. We fought an 8 year battle with a blood cancer, the last year of which I saw every freedom she had taken from her one by one, I saw the pain and suffering mount day by day, and yes, though unconscious the last few hours, her eyes opened at the moment of death; those big beautiful blue expressive eyes seemingly drawing herself away from me, leaving me just the man, and not the man and the wife anymore. We were alone through all this as family and friends were so far away, and we had no children. It makes me sad when I think of the last year, but it makes me sadder to think of the years ahead without her. Since the service in May, I have been experimenting on some things to help me, and at the same time honor her, by trying to use what I know to give others some ideas of how to make it day to day. I put some videos on YouTube if any of you are interested: a way of keeping busy, and I feel closer to her when I do it. Just Type in Martin Tabbita.
It has been 8 years since lupus took my beautiful sweet wife of 26 years. She was my world and the black hole left by her absence is indescribably painful, deep and heavy. Life is still so dark and empty most days and the next person to tell me to
” get over it. It’s been long enough” will be swiftly kicked in the groin. I’m not freaking wallowing in my misery either or being melodramatic or seeking attention. On the contrary. I bear the brunt of this grievous burden alone and in utter silence. Not because I’m too proud or there’s no one to talk to. No. Because I learned early on that unless you’ve been there you have no clue what this feels like; and if you have been there you know there are no words of commiseration that make any real difference. I’m aching and lonely and sad and trying (and mostly failing) not to be bitter.
Speaking of God and grief Gilbert O’ Sullivan nailed it. ” If he really does exist, why did he desert me?”
I lost my sweet wife Nada only a couple weeks ago to pancreatic cancer.
I am lost without her and I don’t know what to do. We were married for 43 years and my love for her grew stronger with each passing year. My heart is more than broken, it is destroyed.
I was holding her hand when she took her last Bret and I feel like I died with her but I keep waking up each morning wishing I hadn’t.
I pray that this is a bad nightmare but I know it’s not. I feel annoyed and invious of everyone who still has their spouses to come home to and to talk to and to be there for them.
I don’t know how to handle this!
I am in tears now as I read this. My precious wife Nannette died in 2015 of cancer after her 2-1/2 years terrible fight to live. I am 58 and my wife was 56 when she died. I met her in 1981. also over 30 years.
I wen on my first on line date yesterday and I have been in tears since. I met a very nice woman and we spent 3 hours talking at a local coffee. My wife Nannette died April 6, 2015 and my life is totally empty now. I could never be with another woman.
Its now August 2018 and I lost my love of my life- 37 years married and 44 in love from love at first sight high school sweethearts. I too feel in a fog and haze- the worst times are when I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night. In between its like a foggy sleepwalk for me. My life- world -support system and best friend now gone. She too got dreaded cancer- lung that metasticized into her brain causing 20 tumors! We had just retired after all those years of hard work and effort. But life was to change as we bought a beautiful home in WNY and were near my daughter and grandkids- the home my wife thrilling called her heaven- now just a house. We had a tough journey too after her diagnosis in June- but she only got 2 months as it worked on her so fast. We got her home for 3 weeks home hospice that was tough on me and my 2 sons but we did it for love to have her get some home time and some moments of quality time but way too much time was consumed by the hated disease causing her no sleep and same for us – but we soldiered on until hospice came and said “it was time for them to take over” and in only 8 days she was gone. I got to see her at least finally in peace sleeping the last day and a half and when I got the call to get there that fateful morning I was able to see she still had some breaths left and played our wedding song Elvis Cant help falling in love in her ear- I could see her lips moving but words could not escape- I told her how much I loved her- how great she was and finally “its ok you can go now and be in peace with your Mom and Dad and grandma etc….they are all waiting and it will be beautiful”. By the time the song ended she had taken her last breath but I know she knew I was there. As if that was what she hung on for. She waged a tough-strong fight battling the horrible break she was given- she won the war because she said to it- I am gone and now so to are you – you cannot hurt me any longer! God I hurt so much- she was only 62-me 64 with the world of good living right before us. What God does this to such an Angel- a strong religious church going-praying Catholic that had only good words- kind words loving words to all. She was positive all throughout . She was MY strength and now I feel so weak. Tell me Lord how is this supposed to go because I have no idea. To all of us who have had to have this happen to us – God Bless and heal us all!
My husband died on 24th August from prostate cancer, lung cancer and Sepsis. I am beyond devastated and feel that my life is over. We were married for 44 years and were everything to each other. After a peaceful end I had to say goodbye to my reason for living. Life now has no meaning for me and all that I can do is sit and cry and try to sleep in between my bouts of tears. The silence in our home is deafening. My daughter lives about 45 minutes away and has been a tower of strength to me and bearing in mind that she, too, is grieving for the loss of her father. Nothing looks or feels the same anymore and I pray tirelessly to God to take me to be with my darling husband. It is of some comfort to know that millions of others have similar feelings to myself after losing their spouse but the agony of bereavement continues to eat me up.
I just lost my wife my little over a month ago there’s days when I’m okay most of the time I’m not I’m not planning on doing anything to myself but it should I be at home and have massive chest pain I really don’t think I would call for help my wife was my world she was everything to me if it wasn’t for the nursing home she would still be with me she was almost ready to come home supposedly skilled RN was present with her cleaning out her trick where she had a tracheostomy and she went in to discuss long story short her heart stopped either there was no CPR given more it was done in adequately she went too long without oxygenated blood in the brain the end result was massive brain damage you can’t get better from that it ultimately claimed her life. I still get up and go to work I pretend I’m in a good mood and joking I talked to her constantly I think out loud probably more than I should I don’t know how much longer I can go without her I’m hoping I join her and very very soon
How well do I understand your pain my bueatiful wife died of this cancer also . She fought a good fight we had hope for a year but it came back so sad .i was her caretaker also . Hope after hope kill this dreaded desease .tried everything every treatment she was in the hospital again many times before this time she told the doctor I want hospice we agreed 2 years ago up to her when she had enough finally cancer got to her brain 13 brain tumors be leave me did want to let her go she was and still is the love of my life .this is not easy my other half is gone I talk to her always telling her how much I love her she in a better place now heaven no more suffering and for that I’m grateful take care richard
my wife died 3 weeks ago with cancer and i am feeling exactly the same we werr married 58 years imiss her every singie second of every dayhe has all my sympathy to look at photoes is torfure
I’m very sorry to hear this, sad but I can relate to all of your emotions, I lost my fiancee to suicide she suffered from BPD and.bipolar that onset in her 20s.
I was the one who discovered her, and it completely destoryed me. Visual horror, unexpectedly losing my soul mate. I’ll never fully recover, but one day I may be able to get close to someone new again.
To be 28, this situation of mine I feel has destoryed my potential for a large period of time, and in alot of ways ruined my life from where it was before this.
But you’re right, night time is the worst time when we feel most alone, think the most and cry/wish our mate was beside us once again.
I’m very sorry for your lost, but I’m also happy that you both got to experience so much life together and for so long, I wasn’t so lucky and I have 40+ years of suffering ahead.
Hello Gene I to share your Grief and understand exactly what you are going through…My wife also sadly passed away only just under three months ago from terminal Lung Cancer after fighting for eighteen months she was just 54…I to am angry that we will never get to do the things we wanted to do together in the future..I totally understand that the people close want to help with their kindness and offers of help but it isn’t what we need..I know it sounds selfish but it is the Beautiful person we married is what we need!…My wife to was unselfish,kind,caring,Generous and forgiving to everyone even those who did things that hurt her…It is so hard to be without them and as you stated “True Love doesn’t come along very often and highly unlikely to happen to us again”..I can tell your wife was your soulmate as was mine..We had both been married several times before until we met and we knew instantly we were made for each other..We had been together for fourteen years and would have been married for ten years if she had lived a short while longer…I to feel lost and dont know where my life is headed..I drank myself into oblivion for the first eight to nine weeks and unfortunately am still drinking quite heavily but not quite as much as I was in the early days as she would be Dissapointed in me…I could not bring myself to sleep in our bed until this last week as it hurt too much without her there beside me..I am hoping that time will heal me but i will not forget her as that I could not bear…I have woken up some nights and forgotten she is not here this may sound silly but I had completely forgotten she had passed away..I Called out her name and got up and looked for her!…Until it Dawned on me she wasn’t here..such a horrible feeling…I am hoping the passing of time will heal me and let her go but I will never forget her wonderul pcaring personality and warmth she shown to everyone..Take care..
I know how you feel, I lost my wife 8 months ago and the pain never goes away, my love increases everyday more and more
I also have the sad eyes as I was blessed to have my wife
she was my sun and my moon and my stars and my American dream
what we have now is our faith and the happy memories
as I live people mention with time it gest better, However I know that it will never get better
I know Love is stronger than death as Love will never die it will always be there
remember always that we must always do good and help one another regardless of politics and
any other issue
while we are here we must be kind and humble and help everyone that needs help as that is
what Jesus would want as at the end our reward will be not in this world but in the other
and to me the greatest reward will be to see my wife again and tell her I love her
as I never stopped loving her
as life goes on I don’t care for wealth or any other material thing all I care is for helping when
I can and see them smile having humanity and never judging people no matter where they came from or how they are as my wife taught me to be a better person and never to hurt anyone
we should listen more to our wives as they have better hearts and are better than we men are
many times
I believe one day Jesus will come back not as a rich person but as a poor humble person
and then he will see how we behave toward the needed and what we do to help the needed
he will see if we prefer richness over helping people
if we are good we will pass the test and then Jesus will let us reunite with our loved ones
in my case my wife and when that happens I will smile again
so while I am here I have to earn the right to see her again
blessings to all
I lost the love of my life on 2 Jun 2018. I know what you are going through I have no answer, there is no answer, I just pray for strength. I am very sorry for your loss. God bless you.
Lost my wife of 19 years November 4 2018..the last 1.5 years she began having mental issues..numerous trips to hospitals and she stopped eating or drinking very little at the end..when i woke up Sunday morning bshe wasn’t breathing..started cpr until paramedics arrived but was told she was gone…the pain and regret i didn’t act quick enough to save her haunt me to no end.I’m feel crushed and lost beyond repair..She was my life
My wife, Caroline, died July 14, 2018, in my arms at home after battling a recurrence of anal cancer which by the time the recurrence was discovered – a year earlier, July 21, 2017 – had spread to her liver with many, many tumors there. She fought with all her strength – she was a fighter, not one to give up – but the cancer could not be beaten. It became more and more and more painful as time went on and there was nothing to be done. She suffered horribly. Her death was not peaceful. It has been almost five months now and my grief continues to overwhelm me. I can identify with almost everything that has been written by others above. We had met almost thirty years earlier and been married for almost 26 years. Caroline and I loved one another unconditionally. We never had children, it was just the two of us. I work mostly from home and Caroline had retired from the Mayo Clinic where she did basic research. So we were together almost all the time and enjoyed each others company. She was my purpose in living. She made my life have meaning. She was only 63 years old when she died. I just want her back. I pray each day that we will be reunited and continue to love one another forever. I ask her to help me through this. My prayers and encouragement go out to all those who have posted here that they will find peace. That we will find peace.
I lost my wife 2018 6th of November. We were suppose to get married on the 24th and 25th of November 2018. We buried her on the 17th November 2018, just a week b4 our traditional wedding. She was my gym partner, hiking buddy, camping buddy, jogging buddy, soul mate , friend, she was my life. May the Lord give me strength to accept that she is no more even though its really hard.
take out the children part and i could have written this. ovarian cancer,39 years together lost without her after 7 months. counciling, antidepressants loneliness
I have just lost my Darling wife. I read and share the profound grief of many of you whose married lives were much shorter than mine. I count myself lucky to have had 53 years together, two lovely daughters and 4 lovely grandchildren. My sweetheart, Mair was 81 while I am 78 but it’s never enough. Our marriage seems but yesterday. I miss her, I will miss her for the rest of my days.
Would that we will meet again.
I can relate to everything you said and feel. I lost my wife 10 days ago and it just feels unreal. She also died of cancer after a five year battle. I was layer off from work right when her condition was getting worse. I. Am glade , this freed me up to care for her and spend more time with her. I really don’t think I will ever get over this. I have no idea where I will go or what I will do with myself. I really feel your pain.
Been 5 months since my wife of 36 years passed away. Do not know how to move on
Thank God i have our cat. Stay home much alone. How do i start. Please help me God
I just recently within a month lost my best friend and true soulmate. In August we would have been together 38 years and honestly I couldn’t have asked for more, I am by no means an expert on this thing called death and grief but the good Lord did give us a wonderful life and perhaps that’s why it hurts so much, we had plans and now they are gone. All I can do to get through each deay is think back on all the positives and know in my heart someday we will meet again in Heaven, Bible says he wont give you anything you cant handle but this has to be the test. Guess we will all have to deal with this in one form of the other. There is a song called If we were Vampires which explains so well. I will pray for person going through this and hope God gives them the strength to carry on and hopefully find joy once again as both myself and wife would have wanted for one another,
My angle on earth lost a battle with god awful hell on earth cancer. She faught so hard with her tenacity her drive her zeal for each day as a blessing. I will never be who I once was she took what made me whole and it was hers to have. We are one. I cannot I will not use my wife in past tense. It’s not being alone it’s not being without a caring partner or even love, its being without my Mary Jane. It is her that has left me so very hollow so empty. I am devastated and its is debilitating that evey little thing I try to do try to engage falls apart without her to be with me through all that we are together. She was three weeks from official retirement. We had save and planned. We didn’t want extravagance we only wanted a quiet Tennessee home in the woods with a fireplace and our pets. Our children and grandchildren to enjoy. Mary Jane a strong driven yet so humble a soul that make others take stock. She inspired everyone she met. Co workers and strangers alike would come away delighted with her smile her sassy intrigue her tenacity wit and passion to brighten up everyone she would meet. She’s a million times the person I could ever be. She said once from her hospital bed while I am in tears “your not going to make it without me are you honey” “you’re going have to I won’t be around. You’ll be alright honey the kids love you so much.” We have dreams you still do”. Nothing is making sense God took the wrong person. She has so much to offer to so many here on earth.
I too lost my wife of 58 years. I share with you all that you are gelling as I too feel as you do. My hope is my faith the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have been taught and truly believe that life is eternal from the moment we arrive on earth to receive our bodies to encase our spirits . Following death, that is as passing from one room to another…instantly we start the first step into eternity. Eternal life where we will be with our spouse and family for all time and eternity. I know that to be true. As I mourn the physical absence from my mortal life I do mourn that…lonely..even when our family’s does not know how lonely we can become, it is our state. Without the hope of eternal life with our spouse, already in the eternity, awaiting our arrival, is the only hope that will pull us through this
My Wife and my unborn son passed away during her 7 Month Pregnancy.
i felt the same as how u felt before, im not sure how to stop this pain.
it hurts day by day, i turned my back on everyone as i have lost my other Half.
I lost my wife to ovarian cancer on Friday 20th March 2020 last week I don’t know where to go or what to do totally lost and need help
My wife passed away on 4/11/20 at 1:30 am. She was diagnosed with TNBC (Triple Negative Breast Cancer) on March 8th, 2019. She took every Chemotherapy and every Radiation treatment that they could possibly give her, and she also had a Bilateral Mastectomy. She was never sick, never complained, took care of me and our kids every single day. For the last year and a half I was with her every single day, at every appointment and every meeting. In February of 2020 they told us that the cancer had metastasized to her liver, lungs, and spine, and that she would be fortunate to make it to Christmas. She was/is my very best friend. We were married for 15 years, and we have two beautiful children. (Mechala—14yrs & Matthew—12yrs) She was 44 years old, and I am 52. She volunteered for Hospice to come to our home on Tuesday 4/7/20. Her family arrived from Tennessee the next day. We made a couple of promises to each other concerning “when it happens” and I am so thankful that we did. She wanted myself, and the kids to be present “when it happens”, and I asked if it would be ok if I could hold her in my arms “when it happens”, and she replied, “I wouldn’t have it any other way…” I am a Pastor of the same church for 20 years, and she is a Pastor’s wife. She wasn’t perfect, but she was perfect for me. And at 1:20 am 4/11/20 I had the opportunity to whisper in her ear everything about her that I loved and I told her that it was ok, if she needed to go. She pointed/reached above our mantle in the living room, and I ran around to face her. Her eyes were as wide open as they could possibly be, which they hadn’t been for almost a day. I slipped one hand under her back, and the other hand under her head, and I told her it was ok, “It’s ok”, I said. “I’m here, I’m right here, we all are, it’s ok…” She took three quick breaths about 15 secs apart and I kissed her with the last one. She breathed her last breath into my mouth. I loved this woman with my whole heart, and I constantly think about her every day. I don’t tell others that I lost my wife, because I know where she is. I still wear my wedding ring, and I tell people that my wife is in Heaven. I read two books since her passing, and I suggest them highly.
1. “Though I Walk Through The Valley”—Vance Havner
2. “I Didn’t Know What to Say”—David Knapp
I have no problem with any of you men or women contacting me at anytime.
It would be an honor and a privilege to help in any way I can. May God bless you and keep you and your family safe.
I lost my wife of 56 1/2 years unexpectedly to end stage C.O.P.D. one week after she valiantly survived being intubated in the I.C.U. for a week and making it through rehab for two more weeks. She returned home and all of her numbers were great i.e. oxygen,co2,b.p.,etc. She was on oxygen 24 /7 and a bi pap at night while she slept. Her will to live was unbelievable as she had been in the I.C.U. several times since 2016. That being said she passed away within 10 minutes in the early morning hour of 3:50 – 4:00 am March 15, 2020. I know at almost 77 I’m in the twilight years of my life and will soon join the love of my life and soul mate who knows how much longer. My problem is my grief is so overwhelming that I no longer want to live without her. Can someone please give me advise ?
I grew up in foster homes and a home for boys starting at age 7. I met my wife while serving in the military when we were both 19 and she became my whole world. Well folks,my whole world came crashing down after 56 1/2 years of marriage on 3/15/2020 when she passed away from sudden cardiac arrest due to end stage copd at home. I talk to her every day,say how much I love and miss her and kiss her picture when I get out of bed each morning. I just turned 77 this month and she would have been 77 next month. I visit her resting place 26 miles away two three times a month and cry almost every day. I’m in reasonably good health for my age but John D heart is broken and feel so alone with the love of my life Shirley.
I read this and just fell apart….again….I actually thought I was maybe the only person on the planet who felt this way, wrecked, destroyed, nothing comes near to the desolation some of us feel when we lose our ‘Soulmate’.
I lost my Darling to Covid, she had twice been investigated for BC, then took a stroke. Lost the whole right side in seconds, spent weeks in hospital then fought so hard to regain 99.9% of what she had lost, 18 months of hard daily slog, she was so tough and determined. Then took two TIA’s but mega fast recovery.
Took another stroke just after Christmas and I had her admitted for treatment, except they did nothing, no Steroids, absolutely zero, just checked her BP and temp. She was due to be discharged on 1st Feb, had all the equipment delivered, except the Hospital managed to infect her with Covid 3 days before discharge, along with everyone else on the Stroke Ward. *******idiots, with **** for brains. My poor wife died 2 weeks later and I’m still picking up the pieces.
I now live alone and being dead seems so tempting. I spend much of my day crying, cursing or just regretting, so there would be no more pain. I’m locked down, so see no one, talk to few and have run out of things to do unless I repaint every room again. I have made several attempts to revamp my thoughts but I still revert to misery mode. Can’t think of a way around this at all, sure God ignores me and my pleas for help.
Hi I am much younger and lost my wife of 29 years on the 14 July 2019, she was sick for about 10 years, I found her when she passed away at home and tried to revive her that was the hardest thing. I am still having trouble doing day to day things especially around the middle of each month, her birthday and so on. It has been really hard this month as one of my kids have just gotten married I she would have loved that, we have just past the meddle of the month and her b-day is soon. I miss her so much. So I know how hard it is, and as for dating I have given up on that at the moment, don’t get me wrong it would be great to have someone special to talk to but I have found they cant handle the fact I still love my wife.
I still think there is more to life and hope to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and then there is my kids and hopefully soon grand kids.
I loss my wife 3 yr. Ago i know how u feel i cry every day. My life means nothing 2 me i have a family thats moved on an left me behind. I pray each day 4 god 2 let me die spare the hurt. My wife was my world i took care of her 4 5 yrs.
My wife had heart issues through her life. She was having trouble breathing and I called the ambulance. When I got to the hospital I waited for awhile. They came out and told me they intubated my wife and her heart stopped. It has been a little over a month since she passed and I cry every day. I miss her so much it hurts. I loved her more than anything and I ask her every night to take me with her. I am usually a strong person but with this I have all but given up. I regret not getting in the ambulance. I regret not getting her there myself. I regret so much and feel like I let her down. I miss her. I love her. My life will never be the same without her. I can’t stop thinking what if, I could have or I should have. I carry that guilt and I cry over her every day. I miss her so much.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my perfect, goofy, beautiful Fiance suddenly a month and a half ago and I don’t know how I will ever not miss her. I stopped asking why and saying how unfair it was (although it was), but damn it I miss her so much it hurts. I just don’t know how to get to a place where I’ll miss her and have happy memories and not still be devastated. I have my own beliefs and feel she is in a good place, but I still wish she was here. I take it day by day and hope for the best. Though you may feel you cannot lean on those around you, know that there are others in the same place and you are not alone. Not sure it would help me to talk to anyone anyway so, knowing i’m not unique in the world helps just a little.
Hold your heart in Love.
Im in the same boat your in it has been just 8 weeks for me and christmas is almost here.I dont know if I will survive or even want too.
I’m at 3 months and have given up. Married for 32 years. We had no children. She died of Parkinson’s at the age of 75. The last few years were trying for both of us but I gave her my best. The last month they wanted her in the hospital she wanted to be home with me and Hospice. I watched her suffer every day and I died every day watching her. I was relieved. When she died. her suffering was over. Now it’s my turn to do the suffering. I’m not afraid of dying anymore. I was always afraid of going to hell. I have got news for you I have already found it. My Parents and my brothers have all died ,no Family. My wife was raised in a catholic Orphange her mother died when she was 12. She had no family just me.My whole reason for living died. Now what?.
i lost my wife very sudden 16 years ago.my son was home i was at work she passed out brain stroke i was shocked but found my way home but he already took her to the hospital.they operated she was in a coma for three days but was braindead.i have been suffering all these years she was only 54 years old.my son is married now expecting a baby i am glad for him.i felt when he got married i felt alone without my wife i am retired now with nothing to do like you we had so many plans all i can hope for is when it’s my time we will be together again no matter how much support help i went to they aren’t in the same place i am so it’s easy to give advice walk in my shoes then talk to me.here’s hoping the best for you we are in group i wish i nobody.
I feel for your loss. My wife died 2 weeks ago and I am devastated. I can just about cope with the changes, but what I cannot cope with is that she looked at me with such trust and asked me if she was going to die. I said no but it broke my heart. I loved her dearly I am lost.
All the stories herre have so many similarities they’re close to identical. It’s nearly three years since my wife died and basically my life ended when hers did. She meant everything to me and still does. I will never get over it. It would be easier if I knew for certain that we’d be together again when I go. But I can only hope it will be so. I never expected to lose her and never knew life could be this empty and meaningless. My thoughts are for all here who are in the same situation. Bless you all.
Hello everybody, I was a widower as well. I watched my wife give birth to my beautiful daughter and the next 24 hours sent what was a happy life into a downward spiral. Also, to add a hint of spice to this dark occasion, my birthday was the following day. I don’t mind sharing my ups and downs of this journey to anyone that is experiencing the same. Be blessed my people!!!