As you begin to take in the reality of the loss of your loved one by suicide, there are three things to remember:
Take Care of Yourself
Right now, you may not feel like anything matters. You have been psychologically wounded by this death, and as with any injury, you will have to focus for a while on finding ways to cope with the pain and take care of yourself.
No One Cannot Do This Alone
You will have to find ways of surviving that work for you. They will not necessarily be the same methods of coping used by other members of your family or your friendship network. That’s okay. But one thing that every grieving person must do is allow other people to help them with the process.
Ask yourself, “Who is the best person to talk to about this right now: another family member, a friend, a clergyperson, a therapist?” Different people can help you in different ways. Some can be there just to listen. Some can do things for you. And some will have helpful suggestions for getting additional help.
But you must be willing to accept the help when it comes – what we do know is that coping with a death by suicide is too big to try to tackle all alone.
You Will Survive This
As the days go by, it will become increasingly clear that you are likely to be forever changed by this trauma. This may well be the most difficult thing you have ever had to face in your life. We have met and worked with hundreds of people after the suicide of a loved one. These people experienced a great deal of grief; but after a lot of hard work, they also found a way to live their life and move beyond the pain. It is a tribute to the human spirit that people can and do survive this loss. And, even though it may be hard to believe right now, you can survive, too.
Excerpted from After Suicide Loss: Coping with Your Grief: Bob Baugher, Jack Jordan: 9780963597557: Amazon.com: Books
Learn more about Bob Baugher at www.bobbaugher.com.
Read more from Bob on Open to Hope: Helping Children After Mass Tragedies – Open to Hope
