Journey Through Fentanyl Loss
The devastating impact of fentanyl poisoning has touched countless families across America, leaving behind grieving parents searching for understanding and hope. Mark Banarczyk’s story of losing his 17-year-old son Thomas to fentanyl poisoning offers a powerful perspective on grief, forgiveness, and finding purpose after tragedy.
Thomas Banarczyk was an Eagle Scout and Christian who died after taking what he believed was Xanax purchased through Snapchat. The pill contained a lethal dose of fentanyl instead. His death in May 2021, during the COVID-19 pandemic, highlights a critical distinction in how these deaths should be viewed – not as overdoses, but as poisonings.
Understanding Fentanyl Poisoning
Mark Banarczyk emphasizes the importance of terminology in the journey through fentanyl loss. “A lot of people call this an overdose, but an overdose is when you take too much of something. This is a poisoning. My son was poisoned under false circumstances,” he explains. Thousands of young people believe they’re taking common prescription medications like OxyContin or Adderall, only to receive lethal fentanyl-laced counterfeits instead.
The Path to Forgiveness
In a remarkable turn of events, law enforcement identified and arrested the seller within days of Thomas’s death. The individual, who knew Thomas from high school, had no idea he was selling fentanyl-laced pills. When confronted with the consequences of his actions, he broke down weeping.
During the court proceedings, Mark and his wife made the powerful choice to forgive the seller. “My wife and I forgave him right there in the Santa Clara County Courthouse,” Mark shares. “Forgiveness is as much about releasing you from it as the other person.”
It takes a hook out of your chest… I felt cleansed. I’ve not really had a bad thought about the guy since.
Processing Grief Through Multiple Channels
Mark’s approach to processing grief involves what he calls the “outer labyrinth” of day-to-day life and the “inner labyrinth” of dream work. His background in Jungian analysis and Christianity provided him with tools to navigate his loss. He and his wife share their dreams and process their grief together, strengthening their relationship through their shared experience.
Creating Legacy in Journey Through Fentanyl Loss
The Banarczyks established the Thomas Larsen Banarczyk Memorial Fund to honor their son’s memory. Mark authored “Finding New Life After the Death of My Son,” sharing his journey and insights with others facing similar losses. He reflects, “I am a much better person for the life and death of my son. I am more empathic. I refuse to squander the pain and grief on being bitter.”
Through their experience, the Banarczyks demonstrate how tragedy can be transformed into purpose, helping others while preserving their son’s memory. Their story offers hope to those navigating similar losses, showing that healing is possible through forgiveness, understanding, and purposeful action.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How can parents protect their children from fentanyl poisoning?
Parents should educate their children about the dangers of purchasing any medications through social media or unofficial channels. Even pills that appear legitimate can contain lethal doses of fentanyl. Open communication about drug safety and the risks of counterfeit medications is essential.
Q: What role does forgiveness play in the journey through fentanyl loss?
Forgiveness can be a powerful tool in healing from loss. It helps release the emotional burden of anger and resentment, allowing the grieving person to focus on healing and remembering their loved one. However, forgiveness is a personal choice and should occur naturally in one’s grief journey.
Q: How can couples support each other after losing a child?
Couples can strengthen their relationship by processing grief together, maintaining open communication, and creating shared healing practices. This might include attending support groups together, sharing dreams and feelings, and working as a team to honor their child’s memory through meaningful projects or foundations.
Read more by Dr. Gloria Horsley: Kathleen Gilbert: Couples Coping with Child Loss – Open to Hope
Visit Dr. Gloria Horsley’s author page on Amazon: Amazon.com: Dr. Gloria Horsley: books, biography, latest update
