This is all new and so unexpected. Wow one year you are preparong for the wedding of your dreams and the following year you are burying your new spouse. Is this a bad dream or what? The emotions are higher than a rollercoaster. I could have never imagined being on this journey. I am, one minute at a time as my emotions change that rapidly. Unless you are in these shoes, no one can ever understand what you are going thru.
I understand your feelings well. I’ve walked in a pair of shoes very like your own. We were married for 2 years and then he suddenly died. The rollerocoaster of emotions I understand and know.