In the aftermath of some great loss, we tend to move through our days as a wanderer in an unfamiliar place. Everything looks the same and yet–somehow it feels so different. How do we move on? When will life start to feel any semblance of normality? We go through the motions, placing one foot in front of the other, knowing we must trudge forward but–to where? To what life? In this phase, our close friends yearn for us to somehow re-boot our system and take life on with renewed purpose. And that seems unimaginable to us

But it is precisely in this Wandering Phase that…magic can happen. For it is in our emptiness, in our aimlessness, that we open ourselves to meaningful happenstance, to unexpected insights, to synchronicity, We have nothing to lose so we open a seemingly random door and inside a welcome surprise awaits. It might be something small at first, or insignificant. So many of the most important experiences in our lives happened without being planned. Or, perhaps we did set a goal–to graduate college, for instance–but the friends we made along the way we had no idea we would meet. Wandering makes a goal-oriented person feel uneasy. But it also forces us to experience events we might otherwise never experience, or learn important lessons we might never have learned.

Paul Coleman

Dr. Paul Coleman is a psychologist in private practice for over thirty years and the author of a dozen books including his most recent “Finding Peace When Your Heart Is in Pieces” (ADAMS MEDIA, 2014). He has appeared on national television shows such as “OPRAH” and “TODAY” and has appeared on dozens of national radio shows including NPR and WABC. Dr. Coleman specializes in the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as well helping people through grief and other life transitions. For fun, Paul enjoys acting and has appeared in over forty community theater stage productions. He recently appeared as a grief counselor in the HBO series “I Know This Much Is True” starring Mark Ruffalo. He has written several stage plays—as yet unpublished—but has had readings of his plays performed in New York City and Austin, Texas. Paul and his wife have three children and four grandchildren.

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