Measuring Your Guilt During Grief

After the death of a loved one, many of us feel guilt. Some amount of guilt is normal. But how much? Answer these questions in writing to better understand your own feelings of guilt.

Frequency. Are feelings of guilt always present?

If not, how many times per hour (or day) do I find myself experiencing guilt feelings?

Intensity. When I experience guilt feelings, how intense is the reaction?

Barely noticeable

Mild

Moderate

Somewhat intense

Very intense

Severe/debilitating

Duration. Once the guilt feelings arise, how long, on the average, do they tend to last?

Disappear in a second or two

Gone in a few minutes

More than a few minutes, but less than an hour

Last for hours

Last for most or all of the day

Last for days

Last for weeks

Guilt feelings never leave me.

Degree of debilitation. The degree to which this guilt is debilitating me is:

Not at all

Slightly

Somewhat

Quite a bit

A great deal

Look back at your answers, measuring your guilt during grief. You should have an idea of the significance of guilt in your life. Is your guilt frequent, intense, prolonged, and debilitating? If so, this means that you are a good candidate to get some help with guilt. Consider talking to a friend, joining a support group, and/or seeing a counselor. Please use the suggestions in this book to help you take a step forward.

Excerpted from Understanding Guilt During Bereavement: Bob Baugher, Ph.D., Kris Baugher: 9780963597519: Amazon.com: Books.

Learn more about Bob Baugher at www.bobbaugher.com.

Read more from Bob on Open to Hope: Feeling Guilty after a Suicide – Open to Hope

Bob Baugher

Bob Baugher, Ph.D., is a recently retired Psychology Professor from Highline College in Des Moines, Washington where he taught courses in Psychology and Death Education. As a trainer for LivingWorks he has trained more than 1,500 people in suicide intervention. He has given more than 900 workshops on grief and loss. In addition, he is the professional advisor to the South King County Chapter of The Compassionate Friends and the local widows’ organization: Widowed Information & Consultation Services. He earned a certificate in Thanatology from the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Bob has written more than 100 articles and seven books on the bereavement process. Visit his website at: http://www.bobbaugher.com. Dr. Baugher appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” with Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley to discuss Coping with Anger and Guilt After a Loss.