by Marilyn Heavilin Author of Roses in December

Once again, here it comes. This day shows up every year, and I still dislike it. That day is Mother’s Day! Why should I dread it? After all, I still have living children. Ah yes, but I also am the mother of three children who are no longer living. I always enjoyed remembering my own mother on Mother’s Day, but for myself, I would prefer to skip Mother’s Day.  I generally attend church on Mother’s Day and many times women who are mothers are asked to stand so that they can be acknowledged. It was nice to be acknowledged for my living children, but I always felt that my three deceased children were being ignored.

And what about those moms who no longer have any living children; their only child or children have died. Are you still a mother? Why should you celebrate or even acknowledge Mother’s Day?

Well, I have learned that I should acknowledge Mother’s Day in my own way because I’ve earned it! If you have ever been pregnant, given birth, or raised a child, or your child is estranged from you, you are a mother, and you always will be, and you have earned the acknowledgement of Mother’s Day. Acknowledge it in any way you want to: go out to dinner, tell your spouse you want flowers, buy yourself a present–a dress or chocolate, even go to church if you want to, as I generally do.

Help others know what will help you. Let your pastor know how difficult Mother’s Day may be for bereaved, estranged, or childless women. In our church now instead of just giving flowers to mothers, the children in our church hand out a flower to every woman.

If you have ever had a life
Growing inside of you,
If you have ever heard your baby cry,
If you have ever helped a child
Get ready for school,
If you have ever watched your teenager grow
If you have ever seen your child become
All grown up and claim to be an adult,
If you have experienced any or all of these things,
You Are A Mother, for sure.
So then you need to take a day
To make the claim,
No matter how many or how few
Of these feelings you have had,
You are a Mother just the same.

So, it is my honor and privilege
To wish you a
Blessed Mother’s Day.

Marilyn Heavilin, 2007