By Tony Falzano —
There’s an old saying that time will heal all wounds. This includes that punch in the gut you feel you took the moment you lost someone or something that was dear to you. For people suffering pain from loss, time will eventually ease the grief and heal the hurt. It will also allow life to be bearable and even enjoyable again. Time is a major component in the healing process.
But what does a person do with the pain and emptiness after the burial is complete and the concerns and dinners offered by others are less frequent? How does the individual manage grief and still cope with the responsibilities of today?
Therapists, clergy and medical professionals believe one of the best things you can do to aid the healing hands of time, is to stay connected to loving, supportive people who will keep you active and provide company. Nothing can compare to the contact we receive from loved ones who are most concerned. Yet sometimes the bereaved may not have many friends and family. And there are times when the grieving individual either wants to, or has to, be alone.
In these times, there are a few things we can do to take care of our health and keep us active, and one of these is…?
Music!
There’s no doubt that music evokes powerful responses from us. We use it to entertain us through our IPODS, CD players and television. We allow music to stir our emotions as we watch the latest box office movie. We even enjoy the advertising jingles that try to sell us everything from hamburgers to cars.
However, music can do more than this, much more. There is very little that can match the exhilaration that music provides. Many of us would agree that music may be the highest of all the art forms. Birds sing to it. Plants grow with it. And we rely on it to maintain our well-being.
For example, soft, melodic music is played to help us digest our food when we eat. From Yanni to Montavanni, people enjoy a meal in the company of their music. Also, sensual, provocative and rhythmic music sets the mood for love making. Many babies were conceived to the smooth sounds of Barry White’s Love Unlimited Orchestra. Furthermore, artists such as Kitaro and Liquid Mind create music for massage, yoga, meditation and even insomnia. In all of these ways, music is our ally that helps us to function and get the most out of life.
We make a strong connection to music and align ourselves to it the second we hear it. Consequently, we can relax when we listen to music that is slower and with a minimal amount of rhythm and percussion. One reason is the beats per minute (BPM). Listening to less aggressive music (music in the range of 60-80 BPM) will slow the body down so key benefits can occur. These benefits include reducing muscle tension, anxiety and pain, regulating the individual’s heartbeat and pulse, relieving nausea and easing depression. These symptoms often accompany grief.
All genres of music contain songs that can calm us temporarily. There is no definitive, “right” choice in music. If you are open to listening to music that is less melodic and more abstract, there is a wide variety of ambient and sound-scape music. They are specifically designed to center us with smooth, tranquil sounds.
There is also cinematic music which sounds as if it belongs in a movie. This music stirs our imagination as it promotes relaxation. Classical, jazz and new age compositions can be soothing while offering listening pleasure. You’ll find many songs in these genres are instrumentals. Some listeners gravitate to the non-lyrical pieces because they are less distracting, less preachy and simpler to listen to.
There is no doubt that music is perfect for the body and soul. And this is important to remember, especially if you are grieving a loss. Because while you are waiting for time to ease the pain from the punch in the gut, music can also be a friend who helps you to heal!
But wait a minute! What does this mean, “music heals?” How do sounds, floating in air, in no tangible form, foster healing for the physical body?
What I’d like to do over the next few months is go deeper into this subject and examine how music can be used in grief resolution. I want to introduce you to certain qualities that turn musical notes into ‘healing notes’. We’ll discuss how we can listen to music to get the most benefit. Then we’ll focus on what to look for when picking out appropriate music for this purpose. I hope you will join me.
Until next month, I’d like to leave you with this thought. If you are grieving a loss or know someone who is, I hope you will remember the power in music. It is truly a wonderful companion that can help you to feel better. Music is non-judgmental and never asks too much of you. It states the obvious when words are difficult to speak. Music is available anytime to act as a reliable partner. And this healing friend is as close as your CD collection.
Copyright 2009 by Tony Falzano. Reach Tony at tonyfalzano@AOL.com.
Tony Falzano is an author, college professor and a speaker on the enormous health benefits that music has to offer.
He is also an award winning songwriter whose music CD, In Abba’s Arms, has reached the ears and souls of those grieving a loss. The album is an offering of 12 original instrumentals designed to be an “inspirational companion” that brings comfort to those searching for healing and hope. The CD is often used by others to enhance relaxation and quiet contemplation.
In Abba’s Arms is available at www.cdbaby.com/Falzano and through the Centering Corporation, (www.centeringcorp.com) at 1.866.218.0101. This is a non-profit organization providing education and resources for the bereaved.
Tony can be reached at tonyfalzano@AOL.com
Tags: grief, hope
