When I first heard the news about the senseless murders in Norway, my thoughts immediately went to the survivors of the murdered people: the shock, the disbelief, the surreal feelings they must be experiencing. Followed by the questions, why, who, why, why, why! Fortunately, the who has been answered. The why will linger for weeks and months, perhaps years to come.
Whenever I hear of tragedies like that in Norway, I recall the feelings I experienced almost two years ago, when my sister was murdered. The shock is overwhelming, to say the least. The shock alone can last for months. I remember waking up day after day, thinking it was all a bad dream, a nightmare, only to face another day, knowing that it did happen. I didn’t want to believe it happened.
Perhaps the most difficult thought for me throughout this entire time was that one question…why? I remember asking the why question over and over again. I was told by the detectives what they speculate to be the reason the coward murdered Sandy, but it’s not that why that was so troubling.
I wanted to know why…why did it have to happen at all, why my sister, why did a good person, a really good person have to die. Why. I struggled with that why for a long time. To say I don’t revisit that why from time to time would be an outright lie. I just don’t revisit it as often now. How did I resolve that why? Time. Lots of time.
And a good book: “When Bad things happen to Good People” by Harold S. Kushner. I read that book, the first book I was able to read from cover to cover after my sister’s death. I re-read that book. I still pull it off the bookshelf and read it. I’ve learned that there’s no rhyme or reason.
My hope for the people of Norway and the world is to resolve that why for themselves. That why can drive a person crazy. Bad things happen. Bad things can and do happen anywhere, everywhere at any time. Like me, the people of Norway affected by this enormous tragedy will learn the answer to that why, in time. Hopefully.
Shirley Wiles-Dickinson 2011
