When the life of a loved one is cut short, we’re left with a void. We still had things to say and things to do. We still have a voice, but the hearer is gone.
Putting our feelings into words can be therapeutic. The act of writing them invites our mind to sort and process our emotions. It gives us release. So, no matter where you are in the journey of grief, I encourage you to write a letter to your loved one. It can be short or long. A one-time note or a series. No rules. Just write.
Here’s mine, to my daughter. It’s been over five years since I said good-bye to her and I cherish the moments when I’m overwhelmed with my love for her.
Dear Ashlynn,
While I always carry you with me, I keep you in a safe place in my heart. A place that’s secure. A place that I fully open only when I’m ready for the flood of love and emotion that washes over me.
Tonight, the door swung open wide; music serving as the key. It had been too long.
Immediately sadness and joy collided. Pondering, longing followed.
I wonder why God chose us. Why He chose me to be your mother and you to visit for such a short time. Words are inadequate. They elude me. Answers run just beyond my grasp. But this I know: I’m thankful that He trusted me with your life. I’m thankful that you will always be part of me. I celebrate you and the new life you represent. You are a precious gift, treasured and loved. I love you, sweet girl, and look forward to the day that I hold you again.
Love always, Mom
Grab your pen and paper and search your heart and mind for words. Reflect. Linger. Experience the gift of expressing your love. And may you step towards healing in the process.
Cindy Shufflebarger 2012
Baba, I love you very much. I am very much innocent. You forgive me. Please, Baba, you come back in our family as soon as possible. Without you, I will die. Each time, I miss you.
Thank you for the wonderful idea to help cope with the pain of losing a loved one. You are absolutely right that no matter how long it has been since you have lost someone that it will help to express your thoughts or feelings to the person you are missing. Not only is the pain so raw but the frustration of unspoken thoughts go unanswered. Based on experience, writing a letter to your loved one helps relieve the frustration you feel even though it will go unanswered. Thereby allowing us to cope in a more healthy and free way with the pain we feel. Thank you!
I have sent you a very long comment about my son RON. I hope it has found its way to you. My name is Linda my cell no. is 2039824148. I live in Waterbury, CT. 06705. PLEASE GIVE me a call or send email. I truly need to open up my emotions. CLARA HINTON texted me often and she is quiet a Rock for people of a loss child. Thank you for listening.
Sincerely,
Linda L. DeMeir