Loss of a Family Member

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Open to Hope Radio

Articles

  • Open to hope

    Grieving the Death of One’s First Love

    Posted on January 15, 2025 - by David Daniels

    On Grieving the Death of One’s First Love Question from Barbara: Is it normal to grieve over someone you have not seen in 30 years? Recently, a guy who was my first boyfriend when I was 15 was murdered. He was 47. I have not seen him since we were 15. I did not expect to feel so much loss. I do not remember how or why we stopped seeing each other, or how long our relationship lasted. I only have 4 or 5 memories. I don’t understand why I feel such a deep loss. He was a great guy then, […]

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  • Death of an Ex-Spouse

    Posted on October 10, 2024 - by Marty Tousley

    Death of an Ex-Spouse Dear Marty: I’m not really sure how to explain how I feel after losing my ex-spouse a month ago—especially since he died the same day that I was having major surgery. Consequently, after the death of my ex-spouse, I’ve had quite a few complications from my surgery. I had to take care of my two teenage boys and their grief the morning after surgery when I got the phone call about their father. The funeral (which was put on by his new young wife) was about the last four years of his life and didn’t talk […]

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  • Loving a New Pet after the Last Pet Has Died

    Posted on July 29, 2024 - by Veronica Crawford

    Loving a Pet From as early on as I can remember, I have always connected with animals. My first pet was an orphaned lamb, Mary. I was obsessed with horses and fascinated with butterflies, frogs and caterpillars – any creatures that found their way into my world. Loving animals inevitably means at some point you have to say goodbye. Now, when I see people and the beautiful bond they have with their pets, my first thought is of the grief that lies ahead. The Healing Process Ever since my beautiful dogs Max and Blaze passed on, I have not been […]

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  • The Magic of a Child’s Grief

    Posted on May 14, 2024 - by Anne Abel

    Son’s Grief Opens a Door I got a belated birthday card from my mother for my 41st birthday. “To Our Wonderful Daughter,” was scripted on the front, in gold, above a bouquet of pastel flowers. Inside, on the right page, in the same Hallmark font: “Another year of the one-and-only you.”  On the left, was my mother’s black-scripted message: “Anne, I was only 22 when you were born. I didn’t want to have you, I had other things I wanted to do. But, here you are. Love, Mom”. My mother had been waging guerilla warfare on me my whole life. […]

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  • Childhood Pet’s Violent Death Still Haunts

    Posted on May 6, 2024 - by Anne Abel

    Childhood Pet was a Gift My father worked in a lab at MIT next door to an animal experimentation lab. The summer I was seven, he surprised us with a beagle puppy that the lab didn’t need anymore. He was so cute and cuddly. “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” was a song I heard all the time on the radio at our neighbors’ house. I immediately named the puppy Teenie. I loved this little dog. He was perfect. I would nestle beside him on the living room rug, rubbing his warm belly and pat- ting his soft […]

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  • Emotional Responses to Grief

    Posted on February 19, 2024 - by Ilana Estelle

    Grief is a highly individual and complex emotional experience that manifests differently in each of us. People may express their grief through a variety of emotions and behaviours. Some common ways grief can manifest include: SADNESS AND TEARFULNESS Grief can often involve a deep sense of sadness with memories that can leave many people tearful. ANGER AND GUILT People can often feel angry at their situation, at themselves around their loss. Through grief, they may also direct their anger at others. Guilt around loss can be something individuals grapple with. Some individuals may also feel remorse, questioning if they should […]

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  • Embracing Grief When a Pet Dies

    Posted on February 5, 2024 - by Ken Breniman

    Embracing Grief When a Pet Dies In the midst of grieving, have you ever been surprised by a sign that you are on the right path or at the right place at the right time? Recently, I had to bid farewell to a beloved canine companion. The grief I am experiencing has been both heart-wrenching and strangely comforting, enriched by unexpected synchronicities that allowed me to embrace the purity of sadness and the joy of having loved a pet. I share this journey in the hope that it not only affirms something you may have experienced but also serves as […]

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  • Suicide Leaves Question of Why

    Posted on July 3, 2023 - by Donna Berger

    Suicide Leaves Question of Why Five years ago, my nephew – my brother’s son – died by suicide. He left behind his wife, three precious young children, his mom, dad, and brother as well as extended family members, friends, and business acquaintances. The shock was palpable. Thoughts were confused, words were hard to come by, and “why?” was the question of the day. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the US and its incidence has increased approximately 30% since the year 2000. In 2021, there were over 48,000 deaths by suicide among 1.7 million suicide attempts. […]

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  • Letter to a Dear Pet: One Year After Her Death

    Posted on January 5, 2023 - by Veronica Crawford

    Letter to a Dear Pet Dear Blaze, my spirited and loyal friend. It has been twelve months since you transitioned. Just twelve months, yet it feels like a lifetime ago. Your empty bed still sits on the floor, the coat you would wear when you went for a walk to keep you warm in the cooler months is still draped over the chair. Your medication is still in the kitchen drawer. I am still not ready to put away your belongings; I would have to fully accept you aren’t coming back. Your life before coming to live with us was […]

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  • Dear Max: Last Words to a Special Dog

    Posted on January 3, 2023 - by Veronica Crawford

    Dear Max – AKA squishy, macchiato, mackie, snowy, little man, maximus and monkey. I miss you so much. So much that it hurts to think about it. I haven’t fully processed losing you. The best I can do is grieve in small moments and then I shut my mind down to cope. You were my world for nineteen years. Your nose smudges (and Blaze’s) are still on the back glass door and windows, the two favourite spots where you kept a close eye on the world outside. My timber furniture still has chew marks in it as a reminder of […]

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  • Coping With the Loss of a Beloved Pet

    Posted on December 11, 2022 - by Jacqui Coombe

    Introduction Our animal family members provide us with joy, loyalty, and unconditional love. The loss of a beloved pet can be an excruciating experience. Despite that, our society can trivialise or even mock the extreme grief that many pet owners suffer during their bereavement. This sadness can be as intense as the loss of a partner, close relative, or friend. As research suggests, grief at the passing of a pet can last for months to a year or longer. Due to the fact most pets don’t live as long as their human owners, most owners will experience the loss of […]

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  • The Many Losses of COVID: A Survey About Moving Ahead

    Posted on August 20, 2022 - by Bob Baugher

    The Many Losses of COVID As humans, loss is something we all experience. One way to make sense of this is to look at a number of different types of loss. Make a copy of this list of 42 losses that could be related to the Covid pandemic. Then, place an X in the box next to each loss that you have experienced as a result of the pandemic during 2020-2022. Check the Loss Box ☐ Loss of the world as I knew it ☐ Loss of finances ☐ Loss of touch—handshakes, hugs, kisses ☐ Loss of job ☐ Loss […]

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  • Uvalde Murders Trigger Grief

    Posted on June 27, 2022 - by Lo Anne Mayer

    Uvalde Murders Trigger Grief Ever since our daughter died in 2005, I have experienced heartbreak each time I learn of other children who have died.  My own awareness of the depth and breadth of grief links me to each person who has lost a child, whether that child is a policeman, a soldier, or an 8-year-old.  I now know that grief is a wound that takes years to heal. The senseless killing of the children in Ulvade brings out the motherhood of all human beings. These murders trigger grief for so many. We want to cradle the children and hug […]

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  • All of Us Grieve After Mass Shootings

    Posted on June 13, 2022 - by Samantha Ruth

    Every single day, I’m seeing news of another mass shooting. It’s not okay. And more than expressing our concern about gun laws, we need to have the conversations about grief. All of us grieve after mass shootings. We are traumatized. But few acknowledge the significance of this grief, let alone address it. So we need to have the conversations. With ourselves, each other, our children. Parents all over the globe want to protect their children. For many, this means shielding them from adult topics. But when is protecting actually harming? Children Mourn a Shooting This is the world we live in. These are […]

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  • Open to hope

    Five Common Pet Loss Grief Myths

    Posted on October 10, 2021 - by Wendy Van de Poll

    Would you like more support with your pet loss journey? Are people saying things to you that don’t make sense or feel supportive? If so, it is important to consider the common pet loss myths on your healing journey. We have many pre-conceived ideas as to what death is about and how we “should” react to it or dread it. No matter where you are with your beliefs, it is important to approach these myths with an openness and willingness to heal. The key to making these myths help you is to be aware of them, know how you feel about […]

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  • Our Aching Earth: When We Grieve About Our Natural World

    Posted on April 20, 2021 - by Claire Willis

    Species are Threatened We don’t have to look far to read or hear about the devastating events that are happening in the world around us. Everybody knows this on some level and perhaps deep in their bones. Our seas are rising. Our ancient rain forests are being pillaged for oil, grazing and all kinds of other purposes. Bee populations are dying. Whales are beaching themselves, from having become entangled with fishing nets and colliding with ships. Fracking is causing earthquakes. The UN Report on Climate Change reports that 1 million species are threatened with extinction. (1) Parts of our country […]

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  • Coping With Post-Election Grief

    Posted on January 18, 2020 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

    The 2020 Presidential election is over. We have a voted for a President Elect and Vice President Elect – Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.  It was a race to the finish between the Red and the Blue.  Some elations were that historical numbers of people stood patiently in long lines for hours. Unprecedented millions of people mailed in their votes due to the global pandemic COVID19.  It was the largest number of votes registered in a presidential election ever.  It was exciting and oftentimes fierce.  But, as a nation now, what are some after-election deflations? The answer is that many […]

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  • Suddenly This Summer

    Posted on August 23, 2019 - by Carol Henderson

    On the evening of July 4th, 2019, I was sitting with my daughter Olivia and my son-in-law Patrick on their small New York City apartment terrace. In the far distance, the sky brightened in smudges of pastels as the fireworks boomed. Olivia said in a hushed voice, “I just wonder, where is she? Where is Stella?” She was talking about her dog, her soulful pet/baby Stella, an abused rescue Bichon-mix Patrick and Olivia had saved nine years ago. The little white dog was utterly devoted, followed Olivia around the apartment, spent hours, days, on Olivia’s lap, and whimpered when either […]

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  • The Loss of My Fur Family

    Posted on June 6, 2019 - by Ann Schiebert

    Lately, I have had many patients come to see me to get grief counseling over the loss of a beloved pet. Their grief aroused my grief over my past losses. The thought came to me that we have a lot of attention focused on loss of a parent, loss of a child, loss of a spouse, or the loss of a friend, but it seems that there is little support for those who have lost a member of their fur family. For me, I have lost both an adult child and pets. I love my pets as much as I […]

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  • When the Loss is Not a Death: Interview with Dr Darcy Harris

    Posted on January 2, 2019 - by Heidi Horsley

    At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr Darcy Harris about families and their struggles with infertility and the unacknowledged loss. Darcy originally got interested in this topic when she was doing research on couples going through infertility treatment. The language they were using was the language of grief and loss even though there wasn’t a death in the traditional sense. They were mourning the loss of baby they were hoping for but never appeared. That experience got Darcy thinking more about non-death related loss. There is still a lot of misunderstanding when it […]

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  • Taking Care of Yourself Through the Grief Process: Interview with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer

    Posted on December 18, 2018 - by Howard Winokuer

    At the annual ADEC (Association of Death Education and Counseling), I spoke with Dr. Howard R. Winokuer about burnout after the death of a loved one and how we can take care of ourselves. In the video below, Howard shares advice on how to deal with burnout following the death of a loved one. Here are some key takeaways from the video: The first thing that comes to Howard’s mind, which is from his own experience dealing with the death of his parents, is that no matter how much you know about grief it doesn’t make the process any easier. […]

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  • David Meagher: Children and Pet Loss

    Posted on December 7, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

    How can you help children address pet loss? David Meagher, a professor emeritus at The City University of New York, explains that pets genuinely become part of a family. The grief many feel for their pets is on par with grief they may feel for a close family member. Dr. Gloria Horsley of the Open to Hope Foundation discusses with Meagher how adults can help children address their grief and heal from it. This can be especially challenging when everyone in the family is experiencing acute grief from this traumatic loss. Many times, for a child, losing a pet is […]

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  • Deborah Antinori: Pet Loss

    Posted on July 10, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

    Registered nurse and licensed professional counselor Deborah Antinori joins Dr. Heidi Horsley to talk about pet loss, one of the most disenfranchised losses. She’s also a drama therapist and grief counselor. There are practical and emotional issues surrounding pet loss. When you lose a pet, it’s similar to any other kind of loss. Sadness, tearfulness, depression, and anxiety are all common. Pets are with you every day, and when they’re gone it feels like something is very wrong. You might feel angry with yourself—should you have taken them to the vet sooner? It’s easy to blame yourself, your vet, and […]

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  • Ted Bowman: The Hidden Losses

    Posted on June 9, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

    In this webisode of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) organization, Ted Bowman joins the show to talk about different types of loss. Things rarely work out as planned. Dr. Gloria Horsley introduces Bowman as she asks about shattered dreams. “What are some of the factors around loss?” she asks. There are conspicuous losses, such as a death or a divorce. There are also internal losses that he calls shattered dreams or loss of dreams. It’s a “death” of what you expect life to be. You might be dealing with a death or a diagnosis, but you’re thinking, […]

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  • Open to hope

    Remembering Izzy

    Posted on September 30, 2015 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

    It was a baby rat. Recently, after years of contemplating the possibility, I obtained two adult rats as pets. They were potentially to be used as live examples in the psychology classes I taught, and in a fun way—treats all around! A day after I received the rats, the previous owner informed me that one of the 5-month-old females “might” be pregnant. Two weeks later, that possibility became a reality. Ten baby rats emerged, and all were seemingly healthy and active. They were cute, to say the least. As they grew, it became obvious that one in the litter was […]

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  • Open to hope

    Cori Bussolari and Wendy Packman: Pet Loss

    Posted on July 26, 2015 - by Cori Bussolari

    A professor at the University of San Francisco, Dr. Cori Bussolari, and a professor at Palo Alto University, Dr. Wendy Packman, recently spoke with Dr. Heidi Horsley during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling about the grief process that follows the loss of a pet. Having just completed a study on pet loss together, Dr. Packman says, “The most immediate thing (a person who has lost a pet needs) is to garner support.” Many times pet loss can be disenfranchised, although that’s improving in the US. You may have people and support networks already in your life that […]

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  • Open to hope

    Finding the Good Stuff on Father’s Day

    Posted on June 10, 2015 - by Anne Hamilton

    I will always remember my Uncle Steve in his work clothing, coming home from a long day of repairing cars and trucks. His boots were worn, and his clothing stained with grease. He would be so tired that he would lie down on the carpet. Often, he would fall asleep there from sheer exhaustion. When dinner was ready, I would go over to him and say, “Rise and shine!” On May 10th, he passed away after battling cancer. He was on hospice and lived for two and half years after his diagnosis, even though the doctors only gave him three […]

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  • Cartoonist Keith Knight in Tears

    Cartoonist Keith Knight on How Words Live On

    Posted on February 9, 2015 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

    Keith Knight is a “gentleman cartoonist” whose various, nationally syndicated comics are published in the Washington Post, MAD, Daily Kos, Medium.com, and the Funny Times. Visit Keef on his website and watch the documentary on his work. A vet’s rates don’t come down just because it’s a dying rat Don’t rate a deathbed experience by the number of words exchanged Use a smart phone to become your family’s personal historian He who laughs in the face of spiders is king Play back absurdities of the day out loud Immortalize the deceased with talk bubbles Your To Do List   A vet’s rates don’t come down just because it’s a […]

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  • comic Yisrael Campbell

    Comic Yisrael Campbell on Uplifting the Dying

    Posted on August 23, 2014 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

    How can you use your talents to make the dying feel like they’re at the center of your universe? Be a DJ on a pretend radio station with your friend’s name in the call letters: this idea and more when memory artist Nancy Gershman speaks with Yisrael Campbell (born Chris Campbell): a comedian of Irish and Italian descent, who grew up Catholic in Philadelphia and now lives with his wife and four kids as an Orthodox Jew in Israel. The star and writer behind the critically acclaimed Off Broadway show “Circumcise Me,” Yisrael brings his one-man show to The Edinburgh Fringe Festival August 2014. […]

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    The Malaysian Airlines Crash: Reflections on Grief After Tragedy

    Posted on July 20, 2014 - by David Roberts

    This past Thursday (7/18/14), Malaysian Airlines flight MH 17 was hit by a missile while flying over the Ukraine. All told, 298 individuals from 11 countries, including 80 children were killed. Recalling My Past When I first heard of this tragic event, I immediately recalled the terrorist attack involving Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21, 1988. Pan Am Flight 103, a London to New York flight, exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland. A total of 270 people were killed, 259 of which had been on board the plane and another 11 had been killed from the debris that hit the ground.  […]

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Open to Hope TV

  • Episode 229: Grief as a Teacher

    Posted on November 6, 2024 - by admin

    Is it possible to learn something from your grief? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Alan Pedersen as they discuss how grief can be a teacher. Joining them are, Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, Carin Mikos, Jan Jeremias, Bill Correll, Jordon Ferber, and Kelli Holst. Co-host Alan Pedersen has presented programs for grieving families in over 1,600 cities and is the former Executive Director for The Compassionate Friends. Jason Wendroff-Rawnicki, is a somatic therapist, who started SIBS online, a weekly peer to peer support group. Carin Mikos, is the creator of Quietus House, and podcast host for In the Gap. Jan […]

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