By Norman Fried —

A?media star who first became famous for her role as a?crude talking, hard drinking? member of the 2002 reality television show “Big Brother,” has announced in The News of the World that she is dying of end stage cervical and liver cancer. Jane Goody, who has made herself a media phenomenon in England through her participation in several reality shows, exercise videos, a perfume label and a published autobiography, told the News of the World,  “I have lived my whole adult life in front of the cameras. And maybe I’ll die in front of them.” Media outlets have reportedly paid more than one million dollars for the rights to Ms. Goody’s “end of life story.” They are providing daily updates on her deteriorating physical and mental well-being, and tabloid audiences across Britain are eagerly tuning in.

The public’s obsession with Ms. Goody’s dying process forces us to focus on the essential distinctions that exist between voyeurism and compassionate curiosity. Indeed we must ask ourselves: Is Ms. Goody’s public demise an example of exploitation? Or are we, as a culture, searching for fragments of hope that death can be faced with courage, fortitude; perhaps even love?

It is easy, even comforting, to read stories about great heroes and famous leaders who have fought their battles and emerged triumphant. Even in ancient myths and children’s’ fairytales we learn of men with superhuman strength who slay dragons and save princesses (credit bringman). But the essence of our humanity is quite the opposite, for as humans we know we are fallible . We are vulnerable to loss, afraid of disease, and susceptible to despair.

Death is as near as we get to a universal language. Illness, despair and loss are evils in any and all cultures; and those who are forced to face them, and wrestle with sorrow until the lessons within are revealed, are the truly triumphant.

Perhaps for the rest of us, there is reality tv.

Reach Dr. Fried through his website, www.normanfried.com

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Norman Fried

Norman J. Fried, Ph.D., is director of psycho-social services for the Division of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology at Winthrop University on Long Island, New York. A clinical psychologist with graduate degrees from Emory University, he has also taught in the medical schools of New York University and St. John's University, and has been a fellow in clinical and pediatric psychology at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Fried is a Disaster Mental Health Specialist for The American Red Cross of Greater New York, and he has a private practice in grief and bereavement counseling on Long Island. He is married with three sons and lives in Roslyn, New York.

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