Mother’s Day is on its way. You can’t miss it. There are advertisements on TV.  Stores have big ads placed everywhere. The Mother’s Day sales are here. Reminders are everywhere.

It can be one of the most difficult days to get through, especially following the loss of a child.

I remember the first Mother’s Day after Sara passed. It was one of the hardest days to face. I felt so awkward. I definitely felt my heart was broken.  But I also realized that I was still a mother to my surviving son, and I was still a mother to my daughter who had passed. I would always be a mother. Nothing could ever take that away.

So, preparing for the difficult day ahead of time helped to lessen the pain that my family and I were feeling. I made it clear to my family what I wanted and needed from them. We discussed how to make the day special, not just for me, but for my family.

All I really wanted was a big HUG! I went the day before and bought balloons to release and flowers to put by Sara’s urn. We looked at a few photo albums, took a nice walk with the dog.   We made a dinner together, and watched a movie. That basically got us through the day and evening.

This coming Mother’s Day will be my 9th without Sara.  We do the same thing every year.  I am very comfortable with it. And now it seems like it’s easier than it was years ago.

The advice I would give to any mother facing this particular day would be to do what feels right to you. There is no right or wrong way to do Mother’s Day. The only thing I’d emphasize is this: Even though you may be hurting, make sure you acknowledge your surviving children, because they need their moms too!