When my husband was near the end of his terminal illness, our Medicare nurse, who dropped in twice a week to check his vital signs, suggested we call our local Hospice center to set up Home Hospice.   I balked. I was afraid to face the reality that we were so close to the end.

“That doesn’t mean it will happen right away,” she assured me. “They will just come in and make everyone comfortable for as long as necessary. Sometimes it’s six months, sometimes even a year, and they can even get an extension on that…”

I was surprised, but comforted, and agreed to make the call and talk with the Hospice social worker. The whole team did come into our home, bringing great comfort, mainly because they knew what they were doing in that situation and the family did not. I will forever feel grateful for and blessed by their presence.

The team, headed by Nurse Mary Scott of North Shore University HealthSystem Hospice, set up a Home Hospice hospital bed and equipment. It worked so well that I told the family that when my time comes I would like the same treatment, with CNA home care workers attending me in addition to the Hospice team.

Lately, I began to have another view. I realized that the Home Hospice program worked so well for my husband because I was there to orchestrate the workers and do much of the day-to-day care-giving. I know my family would have to do all the work of managing caregivers for me and do day-to-day care-giving, and that won’t do at all.

After rethinking my options, I’ve changed my plan. When I reach the end of my days, I want to remain at home as long as it’s possible and convenient for the family. After that, I want them to send me to a nursing care center, and then on to Hospice in a hospital.

In addition to relieving my family of the 24/7 watch at home, I will probably get better care from professionals in the hospital. They have more appropriate equipment to handle my needs than we have at home. I hope conditions allow us to do that.   Perhaps you want to rethink you plans for your last days too.

Sandy Pesmen, host of www.widowslist.com, can be reached at sandy@widowslist.com