Like the prodigal son, we go to far-flung places when we are grieving. We may splurge on time alone or insist on being with others continuously. We may splurge on items we never owned before or insist on keeping every item from the past. We may splurge on thoughts of the past and insist on keeping things the way they used to be.
I am returning home. After almost 7 years of widowhood, moving 3 times and challenging myself to meet new opportunities and others, I have moved again to Atlanta. No, Atlanta is not a place I ever laid my head, but it is one that resonates for me at this point in time. In this move, I am not anxious to find all the stores and facilities right away. I am not anxious to be in traffic finding my way around the new town and fresh opportunities.
This time, I am listening to the birds in the morning, watching the sunset at night and slipping into bed early. I have returned “home” to a sweet rhythm and received love unconditionally again.
I have finally accepted myself as I am: a single, maturing woman with flaws and gifts. Death, loss and change of environment can send us spinning. Like the child’s game, “Pin the Tail on the Donkey,” there are guides to call us back home during grief.
Though your eyes may be covered, your footing back home is on the horizon. Accepting what is today can broaden your path to your “new” redesigned home with its door wide open.
Giving thanks for what was and for what is, is a solid footing for growth through grief. I think I will light a candle for you on your journey.
Susan Reynolds 2011
Tags: anger, Depression, guilt, signs and connections