How can workers within end-of-life settings support themselves in dealing with their own matters of bereavement? Is it possible for them to enlist help of others or are their needs held in second place? What can you do to help?
Burnout can arise both with paid and unpaid workers in this field. They can find themselves facing and tackling their personal family bereaved situations outside of work. Bereavement is loss, not just death. “ Loosing” a patient upon patient can bring one to a tipping point. Connection and disconnection is continually happening in the workplace for them. Now add changing situations in their personal family environment.
Think of the healthcare worker who has been injured and must move onto another career. Imagine the healthcare worker whose own parents are now needing extra assistance or the worker whose son is in an addictive situation and requiring extra physical and monetary resources.
Working with the hospice field or bereavement field is gratifying. It takes a very special individual to uplift others in many ways during major changes in outlook and health. These individuals use their gifts in creating moment by moment soothing and comforting environments for others.
What gifts can others bestow on these workers in their times of bereavement or loss? Most of them know the tools that work, but what can we as a community do and remember, to smooth their own personal journeys.
1. Remember that is often difficult for a caregiver to receive. Perhaps “ bartering” for what their present need is may be a resolution and help.
2. Remember that even though they may cognitively know what grief looks like, feeling it may be another matter. Be a good listener and be available physically.
3. Remember that what looks like respite to you may be different for them. Taking care of others might not hinder their progress, but sneak in some time for a personal massage for them, an evening meal delivered or even a new robe and slippers during their down time to restore.
4. Remember that acknowledging caretakers, not simply during crisis or loss, can be lifeline to uphold them during their own bereavement times. We expect caretakers to be able to handle everything. We believe they are stoic, but stoic for us with a big heart. A card, a simple flower, a wink to tell them you have this one and their cup of coffee is on the table in the break room could be their vitamin of the day.
Begin your day with gratitude for others that help and then find a way to let them know. Kindness grows and grief lessons with watering “ Thank You’s”