If you have recently lost a loved one, you may think your holidays are going to be painful, difficult and unbearable. However, facing the holidays alone for the first time does not have to depressing. When you get depressed, you are not allowing yourself to fully grieve and feel your emotions.

If you look underneath the surface and seek meaning in your grief experience, you create rich, deep and meaningful holidays for yourself. Take each day as it comes. One step at a time. Learning how to stay with yourself in bereavement will lead to better mental and emotional health and a more enjoyable life.

One of the advantages of giving yourself the luxury to grieve properly is that you slow down enough to get in the moment. Being in the moment is the only way to reach genuine fulfillment and happiness. Yes, during bereavement, being in the moment is painful.

However, when you feel the real emotional pain in your heart, it leads to far greater riches. When you get in the moment and learn to live in the moment, your moments of grief change into moments of happiness and joy. You do not have to finish grieving before you experience joy.

This change from grief to joy happens naturally in the moment. You will find the more you feel genuine pain, the more you feel genuine joy. Your emotions can change while washing the dishes and remembering how much you loved your loved one. You could experience joy during the holidays as you grieve.

So, take time for yourself during the holidays to be in the moment. Some moments will be full of grief and some will be full of joy. If you let go of depression and avoidance, you feel more alive and richer for the bereavement experience.

Here are seven ways to survive the holidays

1. Send your inner critic out in the cold. Stop judging yourself for being sad and lonely. Stay away from people who feel sorry for you or think you should be over it.

2. Get to touch with what you need and want. Make a list of what helps you feel better. Comfort is one thing you need for sure. Comfort yourself in all sorts of ways from food to baths to soft clothes.

3. Spend time with people who love you. Have friends and family members around who care about you. Just being with them feels good. You do not have to talk much, just feel them.

4. Express your grief and other feelings creatively. Hum, write, dance, paint and act. Writing is very therapeutic. Expressing your feelings and emotions during bereavement will make it shorter and sweeter. Invite Shakespeare out for a stroll in the cold.

5. Enjoy little things about your own company. What do you like about yourself? Do you enjoy your sense of humor? Appreciate your authentic self? Nourishing self-love leads to faster emotional healing and better holistic health.

6. Honor and let go of your loved one. Write down all the things you love about the person you are grieving. Create a meaningful ritual to honor her. Acknowledge how important he was to you and thank them him for sharing life with you. Say goodbye to her or him as it feels good to do so.

7. Spend time in nature. Mother earth is the source of healing energy and strength. Connect with her to help you find your inner strengths. Trees comfort and love you as you grieve your loss. Hang out with them, let nature’s energy heal your grieving heart.

 

About the Author

 

Dr. Doris Jeanette a licensed psychologist, author of “Opening the Heart” and 16 personal growth products has 38 years of clinical experience helping people heal their broken hearts. Sign up for Dr. Jeanette’s, free holistic psychology newsletter, “The Vibrant Moment” at (www.drjeanette.com/loss.html)

 

Doris Jeanette

Holistic Psychologist, Dr. Doris Jeanette is the author of “Opening the Heart,” an emotional healing guide used and highly praised by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD. She is a licensed psychologist with 33 years of experience healing broken hearts, director of the Center for the New Psychology, founder of www.drjeanette.com radio host of Live at the Edge at www.newvoices.com and her popular, free weekly newsletter “The Vibrant Moment” has inspired thousands for six years. Dr. Jeanette directs The Holistic Psychology Mentoring Program for people interested in learning about emotions, energy and effectiveness. (http://www.drjeanette.com/mentorprogram.html) Doris Jeanette, Psy.D. Center for New Psychology 503 S. 21 St Philadelphia, PA 19146 http://www.drjeanette.com Speaker, columnist, radio host and author of Opening the Heart, Overcoming Anxiety Naturally and 13 other self help products. Dr. Jeanette appeared on the radio show “Healing the Grieving Heart” discussing “How to Open Your Heart After Hurt.” To hear Dr. Jeanette being interviewed on this show by Dr. Gloria & Dr. Heidi Horsley, click on the following link; www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley062206.mp3

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