“Father, tell mother she has her son with her all day on Christmas Day. There will be thousands of us back in the homes on that day, but the horrid part is that so many of the fellows don’t get welcomed. Please keep a place for me. I must go now. Bless you again, father—Raymond.” From the book, “Raymond Or Life And Death” by Sir Oliver Lodge.

When it comes to the holidays, everyone has his or her own way of coping, and there is no wrong or right way to do this. For me, however, there is only way one to deal with bereavement, whether it’s Thanksgiving, Xmas or Dan’s birthday, and that is to stay connected to Dan through spirit.

I do believe that although we pass out of our bodies at physical death, we maintain our personality, our memory and our affection. Just as none of us can or will ever forget our children, neither have any of them forgotten us!

You may wonder if a bereaved mother can even be rational about such a subject. But the views I am espousing are based on 40+ years of experience studying metaphysics with an emphasis on spiritual healing and mediumship.

Long before Danny passed in July of 2008, I was in the habit of sitting with the medium Glenn Dove at least twice a year to connect up with specific loved ones on the other side: my father, Herman Perl, and my spiritual healer, Harry Edwards.

When Danny passed, it was only natural that I would continue in seek connection in this way and I was not at all surprised when Danny came through one week after he passed and discussed everything that had happened to him with pin point accuracy. Not only that, but since that time, Dan has come through many different mediums with the same explanations of the events surrounding his passing as well as with his own very unique personality.

What I’ve learned is that when the medium is a true medium, Dan is Dan and there is no mistaking him. I cannot put into words the comfort I derive from this.

I would like to talk a little bit about the quote at the top of the page. It is taken from the book “Raymond Or Life and Death” by Sir Oliver Lodge, who lost his son Raymond during World War I, as a soldier on the battlefield. Sir Oliver was a renowned scientist who was working on the wireless radio when his son passed and he began an exploration of connecting up with Raymond through numerous mediums.

I have printed this quote because I think it points to a side of loss and bereavement that we seldom think about, for we rarely concern ourselves with what our loved ones on the other side might be feeling. It’s all about us. If the kids have gone on into spirit, wouldn’t they still have feelings too? I believe that in fact they do, and the last thing they want is to be forgotten!

This year on the holidays, whether you get together with many others or you spend the holidays very quietly, set a place for your loved one.

If room is limited, find some other way to honor him or her at your table. In your own heart and mind invite this loved one in and assure him or her in your thoughts that they are remembered and always welcome. Imagine, even for a brief moment, that the spirit of your loved one is present, even though you cannot see or hear them.

If you are up to it, request a silent moment in which all present can send loving prayers. This is a real gift to your loved one. You might consider lighting a candle, but whatever you do, find some way to include them. It always makes me feel better and from what Danny says these prayers are of great benefit to them!

Sheri Perl 2010