Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year: Super Bowl Sunday.   I couldn’t care less each year who is in the game although there are some teams I definitely like better than others and I was rooting for the Steelers.   We witnessed arguably one of the greatest Super Bowls ever as Pittsburgh beat the Arizona Cardinals 27-23. What was super about this game was the players on both sides fighting for a common goal.  Had the Cardinals won the game, nobody would have argued that Larry Fitzgerald, the Cardinals star wide receiver who caught two touchdowns in the game could have been named the most valuable player.   His athletic dominance and his ability to create plays on the field was absolutely awesome.   But I have decided to give Fitzgerald another MVP award: most valuable person.

It was close to 6:00 before NBC was going to start the real pregame show before the 5 hour pregame show they did before the actual pregame show. (Note to NBC: shrink your pregame show down.)   They were interviewing Larry Fitzgerald and they asked him what his one regret about the Super Bowl was.   Now for a player and a team for that matter, that has never played in a Super Bowl previously, what could be the negative of playing in the biggest game with the whole world watching?   Fitzgerald calmly answered, “Not having my mom here.”   Fitzgerald’s mom died of breast cancer a couple of years back and you could tell listening to this million dollar athlete that even if the Cardinals won, it would truly be bittersweet for him, because of who he wouldn’t be able to share the happiest moment of his life with.

Fitzgerald himself admitted in the interview leading up to his mother’s death that they had not spoken over an argument that was not explored during the interview.   He said, “Pretty soon, one day turned into one week.   One week turned into one month.”   Fitzgerald was at the University of Pittsburgh at the time as their star wide receiver and basically said, “I thought I was all that.”   Then he got the call from his father that his mother has passed and he was too late to get to the hospital.   That genuine feeling of regret and anguish on his face when he was telling this story hit home all too well.   My phone call was from my sister and I arrived to find my Dad laying in a hospital bed with nothing hooked up to him, not fully understanding the surreal moment that was now taking place.

Fitzgerald said, “I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for that.”   Larry’s Dad was also interviewed for the piece told his son, “You need to forgive yourself and move on.   Your mother loves you.”   But as the interview went on I got the feeling that Fitzgerald was not there just yet and I can understand that.   You feel like you have failed as the son.   It can feel like the most empty feeling in the world, and there is nothing you can do to replace it except forgive yourself and know that you have done the best job possible with the circumstances you have been given.   Three things to learn from Larry Fitzgerald, the Super Bowl’s most valuable person:

1. Don’t regret anything- What an important statement that is when dealing with the loss of a loved one.   Get everything out on the table before it is too late.   Time is precious every single day, do not let a petty argument or stubborn foolishness be the reason you feel guilty for not strengthening relationships with your loved one.

2. Forgive and forget- Learn to forgive yourself for any part you feel like you have played in not making the relationship between you and your particular loved one, all it can be.   If you still have time to “mend the fences” then do so without reservation or hesitation.   But just like Fitzgerald’s dad told him, forgive yourself, life is too short.

3. The loss of a loved one does not discriminate-It does not matter who you are, if your rich or poor, black or white, happy or sad the loss of a loved one will affect EVERYBODY sooner or later.   How prepared are you to deal with this life changing event?   Sometimes, there is no possible way to be prepared, and even when you are prepared it is still extremely difficult.   Understand that you just need to do the best job you possibly can under an extremely challenging situation and be at peace with that.

Larry, you played great yesterday.   It was an absolute thrill to watch you play. You made your teammates, coaches and everybody who was a fan proud. But most important you made your mom proud and you know that.   I have a feeling she would have been proud of you even if you didn’t catch a ball.

Kudos to the Most Valuable Person of Super Bowl 43: Larry Fitzgerald.

Always a friend to listen,

Eric Tomei