As we approach the new year, I can’t help but think of something my Dad always used to tell me: Take care of the small things and the big things will fall into place.   How true that rings in an ever changing world.   Take one thing at a time and nothing ever seems so big that it can’t be solved.

The turning of the new year is always a time for reflection, hope, optimism, and happiness.   I hope everybody takes a moment and be thankful for what you have.   I know my Dad constantly reminded our whole family of that.   Be thankful for what you have, because you never know when it is going to be taken away.   As we count down to 2009, I reminded of the fact that it is going to be 3 years since my Dad was last able to ring in a New Year.   At times it is tough, real tough.   Every holiday and significant event reminds you of the fact that something just isn’t quite right.   But you know what?   That’s OK.   It’s not supposed to be exactly how it was or otherwise how could we ever muster the ability to move on and enjoy anything?   My point is, give yourself a pat on the back.   You made it through another day, another week, another year.   It will only get better from this point on.   I never thought it would, but I am glad I was proved wrong.

Three tips for taking care of the small stuff in 2009:

1.   Acknowledge the past– Understand that YOU and everyone around you are not alone in dealing with the loss of a loved one.   It is OK to have bad days and good days in 2009, just like it was OK to have bad days and good days in 2008.   Reflecting on the past is a way to heal and focus on the brightness of the future.

2.   Show gratitude for the loved ones in your life-My Dad and your Dad have had their time here.   Paying attention to the present and the people in your life currently are tremendous sources of strength.   Use them.   People feel good when they can be useful and are needed, and show them your appreciation.   Be thankful that you have the people in your life that you do.   If you do not have a strong support system in your life, showing people gratitude on a daily basis is a surefire way to get the best support system you will ever need in 2009.

3.   One day at a time-I used to watch this show as a kid about 25 years ago.   But how true the title of this show is as it applies to our daily lives.   One day is all we are given, so take advantage of it.   Don’t wish the days away even if you are in pain from grief.   I remember some days in 2006, the year my Dad died, I wanted some days to be over before they started.   I wanted to yell from the tallest mountain that my Dad has died and dosen’t anybody care?   Every time I got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore someone, somewhere stepped up to the challenge.   Look for this person in your life, they are always there.

What I hope for all of you as you enter 2009 is peace, prosperity, happiness, and understanding.   You are not alone in this journey of healing and you never will be.   I am always YOUR friend hear to lend a caring ear.

Best wishes for 2009 and remember to take care of the small stuff!

Eric Tomei