Dr. Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, CWS —

After the long winter comes the warm days of spring to melt away the enshrouding white blanket of grief. The once white landscape is altered turning into bright fields of multi-hued wildflowers, as the lands and animals awaken from their long winter’s sleep into springtime and life.

Without a doubt, spring is my favorite season; it is a time of rebirth and renewal. The beauty in this time of year can be used to help those living with loss. Poets and writers have used imagery of the changing seasons to explain loss, grief and how people cope life-changing events. Author Molly Fumia wrote, “The season of mourning, like spring, summer, fall and winter, will also pass.”

Cardinal John Henry Newman wrote, “We must live through the dreary winter if we would value the spring…” The chilling, bleakness and desolation of winter when plants lie dormant and animals go into hibernation is a good description of the emotional state of someone dealing with a loss. In contrast, the approaching spring with the emerging plant and animal life is a good way to describe how a grieving person feels as she begins to re-enter life and begin anew after living through a loss.

Grief Descends Like a Winter Storm

When grieving a loss many people pull back into themselves, like a bear wanting to sleep through the winter, as the grief engulfs and overwhelms them. I wrote in an article on the healing qualities of nature, “Grief descends like a winter snowstorm, covering everything in sight, in a mind-numbing blanket of sorrow. When a life-changing loss occurs, it is as if one has entered an eternal state of winter.”

Holding on to the Hope of Spring

The seasons that change in a predictable pattern year after year serve as enduring reminders that nothing is permanent. In the darkest of times, memories of happier, more enjoyable times can sustain us and provide hope as we stand like crocuses heralding the spring.

Like a crocus in the snow,

I stand knee-deep in winter

Holding springtime in my heart.

Joan Walsh Anglund

Holding on to the hope of the spring, knowing that days filled with warmth and sunshine will return once again can help us get through the gloom of winter.

Discovering an Invincible Summer

During the countless dark days and challenging times that follow a significant loss, grieving people often turn to the ever-present power of nature for healing. Sometimes a few simple words and natural imagery can serve as reminders of the strong forces around us. Nature can help to evoke the internal forces that exist deep within and discover the invincible summer. Philosopher Albert Camus wrote a wonderful description of finding those inner forces to overcome loss, “In the depths of winter, I finally realized that deep within me there lay an Invincible Summer.”

Learning to Live Again as the Grief Melts Away

Poet George Herbert wrote, “Grief melts away like snow in May, as if there were no such old thing. We all know that in time the cold winter melts into spring. Over time, the grieving person realizes that he will survive the loss and begins to start living again, as the grief begins to melt away.

Taking the Risk to Bloom

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful

than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin

The grieving person eventually becomes aware that life goes on and staying shut off from the rest of the world, from family and friends has become more painful than stepping back into the world to live again. As the grieving person learns how to integrate the loss, the winter of their grief gives way to a spring of rebirth and living a new life.

Dr. Kirsti A. Dyer MD, MS, FT, CWS is a respected physician, an expert in life challenges, loss, grief and bereavement, professional health educator, professor, lecturer and author. She received her Medical and Master’s Degrees from the University of California, Davis.  Dr. Dyer also has expertise in wellness education and health promotion. She teaches college courses in Nutrition and Wellness and a graduate course in Grief, Loss and Bereavement. She contributed the chapter on “Loss and the Workplace: What to Do at Work When the World Crashes in Around You” to the Healthy Profits: The 5 Elements Of Strategic Wellness book. She can be reached through the Journey of Hearts website, JourneyofHearts.org.

Tags: grief, hope