The biggest loss is the loss of loved ones themselves, but that is not the only loss that occurs when a loved one dies. There are many losses within a loss, including the tremendous loss of relationships once shared with those who have died. There is often the loss of feelings of security once provided by the person that died. Loss survivors also often find they have lost a zeal for life, and sometimes experience a distancing from family and friends.

The losses within a loss are often temporary, but can also be long-term or permanent. They can be as simple as a Sunday morning routine of making of pancakes with a loved one, or something much bigger but they are ALL an important part of one’s loss, and each plays a role in adjusting to and accepting the permanent absence of a loved one.

The shock of a loss and all the changes involved are a lot to process and it’s not uncommon for the many implications to be quite overwhelming for surviving loved ones, for a period of time. Having a better understanding of the ‘losses within a loss’ can help survivors to find better ways to cope with their difficult separations and painful grief. Some will take comfort in maintaining familiar routines, while others may find it helpful to change them. The best thing to do is to figure out what works best for you right now, and make any necessary adjustments along the way.

Relationships with loved ones are very unique and complicated. And the many losses with a loss are the result of a great part of who our loved ones were, and a complex part of processing personal grief.