One of my patients in the clinic was telling me about how his shoulder problem was preventing him for throwing with his son who is a pitcher on his baseball team.  In fact that was his number one goal to throw a baseball again and throw it well with his son.  It was exciting to talk to someone who had such a passion for the game as he played it just like I did.  He was outlining his throwing motion to me and I was dissecting it and determining what exercises would be best for his particular situation.

Having played baseball for 10 years and coached for 4, I think I am fairly astute about the game so it was good to talk the same language as someone who understood the game.  My patient went on to tell me that his son was a great pitcher and his son played travel baseball. He was telling me about his games, and you could tell there was a genuine sense of pride on his face as he was talking.  Proud parents when they are talking about their kids sometimes can’t stop.  But really it is just a source of pride.  I used to get really irritated it and I never figured out why.  I did a couple of days ago and when I realized it I wasn’t irritated at all.  I was jealous.

I can probably count on one hand the number of compliments my Dad gave me in my lifetime and I unfortunately can’t remember those.  I was jealous because I never saw that look in my Dad’s eye, that look of being so proud you can’t stop talking.  I really don’t remember anybody coming up to me and telling me that he ever had that look.  So all the little things we remember about our Dad or loved one are those special things that we hold onto for the rest of our lives.  But I won’t miss never hearing that “Good job” from my Dad, because had he lived, I wouldn’t have heard it either.  Not bad. Not good. Just the way it is.  And that’s OK.

What are some things about your Dad that you will/won’t miss?

Always a friend to listen,

Eric Tomei-author I Miss My Dad

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