I am getting married in October and frankly the myriad of details that goes into planning a wedding are unbelievable.  I have been in 11 weddings and I thought I knew everything, but as I am finding out, you can always learn something new in every situation.  It really is an exciting time.  I could get married tomorrow.  I am ready and I say, “Bring it on.”  But there is one thing that is going to be extremely bittersweet for me and that is not having my Dad there.

I am trying to think how it would be different if he was there.  My mom would be happier for sure, he would wear a tuxedo just like at my sister’s wedding, hopefully we would have had some new bonding moment where he would say a nugget of wisdom about married life.  All of these things are “what ifs” and that to me is the saddest part about an extraordinarily happy day.

Many people will say that day things like, “Your Dad would have been so proud of you.” or “He is looking down on you today.”  Yeah, maybe.  But the truth is people don’t know, nobody does except the one person who can’t answer the question.  It has been tough for me in some respects because I am trying to divide my time and energies between many people in my family while still trying to make everybody as stress free as possible.  Thank God my family gets along well with my fiance.  I am thankful for that every single day.

I have already thought of ways to honor my “Four Fathers” who have passed.  My godfather, both grandfathers and my father all passed away in a 15 year span.  I never thought I would be in this situation, but it becomes a more comfortable reality each passing day.  I am praying that they are having a big party in October because they deserve to let the hair down, just like we are going to.

It will be one of the happiest days of my life, but one of the most bittersweet as well.  I plan on experiencing emotions that I have never felt before.  It will be a day to remember.

Always a friend to listen,

Eric Tomei-author I Miss My Dad

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