From the moment you become a parent, there are two questions that become first and foremost in your mind: Where is my child and is he or she okay? Even when you are dealing with an infant that seldom leaves your side, you still get those moments.
I can remember watching my babies when they were in deep sleeps to make sure that they were still breathing. Whenever I left them with a babysitter or at nursery school, throughout the time that I was separated from them, I would wonder where they were and if they were okay. I simply had to know.
It’s a constant theme that permeates everything else that you do, once you become a parent. Even when your children are a little older and seemingly more responsible, periodically throughout any given day you raise those questions. If your child ultimately reaches the teen years, all hell breaks loose as it becomes increasingly harder for most parents to answer those questions. However, if all goes well, despite an uneasy evening for you, your child returns to the roost and for a little while anyway, you can put those questions to bed.
What makes parents nearly lose their minds after the loss of a child is that they cannot answer those questions! They have no clue where their child is, if their child is, or whether he or she is okay and that is primal agony for parents! Even worse than missing this child is the parental hell of not being able to rest in the knowledge that their child is somewhere and that he or she is okay. It goes against every fiber and every instinct that parenthood encompasses and causes suffering beyond our wildest dreams.
If it were not for the fact that 40 years ago, when I was 20 years old, I experienced a life-changing spiritual healing that demonstrated to me the presence of a spirit realm, I would not be writing a book on this topic today.
I did, however, experience a healing of a non-physical nature that was so profound that as a result I delved into a 40 year exploration of spiritualism, with an emphasis on spiritual healing and mediumship.
As a result, I have witnessed numerous demonstrations of life after death and at this point in my life, I firmly believe in the survival of the personality. By that I do not mean some vague, nebulous resemblance to someone you once knew. On the contrary, what I am speaking of would be described as the unique personality of the person you loved, minus one major detail, their physical body. And as parents, we do love that physical body. We love their eyes and we love their smiles and we love their hugs. It is unfathomable to us to consider living out the rest of our lives without their hugs.
But, when I think about it, I ask myself, “Was it the hug itself that you loved, or was it the love behind the hug that meant so much? Was it his arms that you loved or the love those arms expressed?”
My answer is always that it was both, the physical arms and the love that animated them. What helps me to cope now is my firm belief that what animated Dan’s arms still exists and is actually very close to me. And I believe that what animated Dan’s hugging arms was his spirit and that his spirit has survived passage from physical reality into the realm of spirit and that he is there and that he is okay.
I cannot define the spirit realm as a destination in which I can say, my child is right here, two blocks west of Broadway, nor can I definitively explain to you what or where the spirit world is, but I can tell you this: it exists. It is where my child is now and he is okay and if you have a deceased child, it is where your child is now and he or she is okay. Even if your child took their own life, trust me on this, your child is okay. There is help and support on that side and from what I have learned, no matter what, no one crosses alone.
But I am just throwing ideas out at you and there is so much more to be said and explained in chronological order. I do want to point something out, however, before I proceed further. Faith always implies a leap of trust in an area that is not readily visible, for if it were visible and self evident, there would be no need for faith!
So, if you will, imagine opening your mind just a small amount to consider the possibility that your child does exist, with his or her consciousness intact, in another form, in another dimension, for this is what I hope to show you through writing this book; that the essence of your child exists and that there is even a way to have a relationship. Of course it cannot be the same, for you will no longer look for your child through your physical eyes, but with your inner eyes. But I hope to show you that you can connect with your child through numerous means and when you do, you will ease some of your pain as well as theirs; for just as their suffering was always yours, now your suffering is very much theirs.
In the spirit of bringing healing to all of us and our children I hope that my book, Lost and Found, will open some possibilities in your mind and by so doing, allow the doors of your perception to open up to dimensions you may not have formerly considered real.
Sheri Perl 2012
Hi Sheri,
I am a member of the Prayer Team, and you and I have exchanged a few emails from time to time. I come to this website once in awhile – or rather it comes to me.
Sheri, I really love this article. I don’t know if you remember, but I am the person who had started reading Lost and Found and had to put it down at some point because I was feeling oddly fearful. Your response to me made so much sense, and it ties into this article. A fear of the unknown, entertaining those dimensions we aren’t really sure about. I know that for me, raised in a very strict Catholic household, church every Sunday – where the whole darn mass was in Latin – we were taught two very distinct things: if you are ‘good’ you will go to heaven, but if you were ‘bad’ you will go to hell. Talk about a lot of young minds and the fear and images they carried! Thankfully, I have shed that.
At some point in H.S. I started developing a strong interest in the hereafter, and it was not triggered by anyone close to me dying. I seemed to come to a belief of sorts that there was an ‘other side’ and also something much more powerful than us. And as I got older and became a Mom myself, I of course felt all of those things that Moms worry about in regard to their children. So yes, I always wonder if John is okay. From the things I’ve learned from you, and the Prayer Team, I’m at that point of knowing John is okay. But unfortunately I’m NOT okay. I have yet to incorporate this very painful loss into something I can learn to live with, and accept that it is a part of me. Even after three years, I often still feel very intense pain and loss; and sometimes it doesn’t take much to trigger that. So I still have alot of work to do.
My favorite part of this article is the paragraph about faith. I have always said that just because we can’t see something, that doesn’t mean it’s not there – unless one can prove it. As of yet, no one has proven that a joyful afterlife does not exist. Thank you for reminding me of what true faith is.
Anyway, again I really loved this article, and seeing that it is 2:30am and I can’t sleep, reading this has created a certain kind of calm.
It was nice to ‘bump’ into you on this website, and I know I will be talking to you soon. I have so many thoughts and questions, and very often I think you would be the best person to share this with. In fact, there has been something I’ve been pondering about for awhile now, and maybe this week I will email you about it. Thank you for all you do, Sheri.
With Love,
Debbie (Ross)
John David’s Mom
Well done Rev Sheri!I love it! I just love your new updated wbseite! Simple easy and just so user friendly. I wish you so much success, love, health and abundance in all aspects of your life. You are truly an inspiration to me and thank you!Much love and lightMyra CrassasP.S I wrote in your ask sheri column yesterday and I am hoping to read your response sometime in the future;)