Why Routines Help When You’re Grieving

Think of your favorite comfort food, the coziest blanket you
own, or the pleasure of consuming a warm cup of hot
chocolate before bed. All these things make you feel better,
right? They’re like big, squeezie hugs (as Libby would say)
because they are familiar. And it’s this familiarity that makes
routines so amazing. They’re like a comforting, dependable
embrace during times of grief.

Knowing simple things like when you’re going to wake
up in the morning, what you’re going to eat, and that you’re
going to take a walk each Thursday with a friend after work
can make a HUGE difference when you’re on your grief
journey. Grieving is mentally exhausting. Sometimes, you
just need to give your brain a chance to “catch its breath.”
Routines say, “Hey brain, let’s not focus on everything right
now, let’s just get through our morning routine.”

Routines can also keep us healthy. I know, the last thing
we grieving souls want to focus on is diet and exercise. But
I swear, tiny routines regarding health can make a massive
difference in your mood. Like I said earlier, I am not asking
you to dive headfirst into a rigorous workout routine or to
finally go keto. Doing minor activities throughout the week
and ensuring you get balanced nutrition can make a large
difference.

Routines Help You Stay Connected

Even for an introvert like me, who tends to go into my
cave when I’m wounded, finding ways to stay connected is
crucial, and routines can help with that as well. Grief can be
isolating and lonely, but scheduling time with people to
engage in real-life human conversation can be very
beneficial for reducing the loneliness felt in grief.
Extroverts, on the other hand, may find that they want to
slow their roll socially and be with fewer, closer friends while
grieving.

The best thing about routines is that they are all about
YOU. Whether you’re a jog-every-morning person (I am so
jealous) or a stay-at-home-and-read person (raises hand),
your routine should be tailored to what you enjoy, what you
will stick with, and what can help you move forward.
Creating a routine is completely personal, and you can
start with small things that you do in the morning,
afternoon, and evening. Whether it’s getting up and making
your bed, hydrating, doing a five-minute stretch, or having
your favorite breakfast before the rest of your family wakes
up, it’s all about making the routine yours. Don’t hesitate to
write it down or even use a printable checklist to track your
actions.

Creating a routine brings you a sense of normalcy, a bit
of predictability, and a whole lot of resilience. Whether you
are just starting to create a new routine or trying to maintain
one you’ve started, remember to be gentle with yourself.
After all, it’s all about moving forward, one tiny step at a time.

Read more by Brooke Carlock at Grieving Mommy: One Mama’s Journey Through Child Loss/Grieving Mommy: a grieving mom’s journey through child loss

Check out Brooke’s other writing on Open to Hope: ‘You’re SO Strong’: A Misunderstanding of Grief – Open to Hope