Loss of a Family Member

Articles

  • Father Pens 30th Birthday Message to Deceased Son

    Posted on March 8, 2025 - by Ron Villano

    Message to Deceased Son My son, Michael, was born 30 years ago today.  It would have been amazing to see what he would have looked like.   I often dream about what he would be doing with his life.  Married?  Kids?  Or…  still living at home?!? Well, he is still at home.  His stocking is on my fireplace at Christmas.  His picture is on the mantle and in my home office.  Michael is also at work, in my wallet, and on the internet.  His rap CD, just recently created from old cassette tapes,  is being heard by others for the first […]

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  • Daughter Feels Little Support for Mother-Loss

    Posted on March 5, 2025 - by Marty Tousley

    Question on Feeling Little Support for Mother-Loss Question: I tearfully happened upon your website by chance this morning.  My dearest friend, my mom, died in my arms this past month.  I had brought her here to live with me after her colon cancer returned. From the moment of diagnosis, I watched her hurt and endure so much treatment, never giving up, always smiling, always gentle, humble.  Since she died, I’ve received very little support from my husband or anyone else.   I joined an online grief group, but I do not feel as if I belong there.  My friends have faded […]

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  • To Lose a Twin

    Posted on March 4, 2025 - by Linda Pountney

    To Lose a Twin I was taken captive by life and death at the age of twenty-one. My identical twin sister Paula and I faced life together for twenty-one years. We never imagined life without the other. As twins, we had an unspoken pact to care for one another. When she died suddenly in a small plane crash, I questioned who I was in the world without her. Could I even function in life without my twin? Our losses are as unique and personal as our love. All bereavement experiences are different. For me, grieving for my sister came many […]

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  • Widow Wonders Whether New Partner is Stuck in Grief

    Posted on February 26, 2025 - by Marty Tousley

    Is My New Partner Stuck in Grief? Question from reader: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death.  He has been doing this for five years.  We have been dating for four-and-a half-years.  My husband died suddenly of a heart attack just a month after my companion’s wife died following a two-year battle with colon cancer.  At this point, I’m not sure how I am tolerating these very public displays of grief. Would you be willing to […]

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  • Winter Grief Activities and Projects

    Posted on January 28, 2025 - by John Pete

    The long winter months can be especially confining, isolating and challenging when grieving a loss. But you can also engage in unique ways that will help you bear your loss. Here are some winter grief activities and projects (or for any time of year): start an indoor gardens/terrariums/terrarium memorial garden take up a new hobby/craft, learn new skills/enhance existing ones enroll in an online class (many are self-paced) write your autobiography or a biography about your loved one start a Blog (many free options with public/private settings) volunteer at church, care-facilities and non-profits plan and gather materials for spring projects give […]

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  • Ten New Year’s Eves: A Widow Remembers

    Posted on December 30, 2024 - by Katy Hutchison

    Ten New Year’s Eves December 31st has come and gone ten times since my husband Bob was murdered. While ringing in the New Year with friends, Bob left our dinner table to check on the home of a vacationing neighbor. It had become apparent no responsible adult was overseeing a party the neighbor’s teenaged son was throwing. Bob walked in on two hundred drunk and out of control youth. Within minutes he was dead, beaten to death by two young men angered by his efforts to shut things down. I was left a widow with four-year-old twins. The first year […]

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  • Yes, I’m Still Grieving

    Posted on November 22, 2024 - by Sarah Kravits

    Yes, I’m Still Grieving If you or someone you care about has ever suffered a painful loss, you’ve likely heard, communicated, or thought something like the following: That earnest wish that a person could “move on” or “get over” the intensity of grief. The well-meaning concern that someone is “dwelling on,” “wallowing in,” or “stuck in” grief. That kind directive to “focus on the positive” or work to get one’s “life back.” We often feel it, deeply, when friends or family members are grieving. Perhaps we experience their hurt empathically, or maybe we sense its weight because we wish for […]

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  • Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child

    Posted on November 8, 2024 - by Alice Wisler

    Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child That holiday-pang hit my stomach the first October after Daniel died. Greeting me at an arts and craft shop were gold and silver stockings, a Christmas tree draped with turquoise balls and a wreath of pinecones and red berries. What was this? And was “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” playing as well? It was only October. I had anticipated that Christmas and the holidays would be tough. In fact, I’d wake on those cold mornings after Daniel died in February and be grateful that it was still months until his […]

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  • Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death

    Posted on October 30, 2024 - by Cathy Seehuetter

    Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death On the evening I type this, the nip in the October air is a reminder that the major holidays are just around the corner. Halloween decorations have been in the stores since July and Christmas décor even as early as August. For those of us who are bereaved parents, siblings and/or grandparents this means the sooner they are “in our face” the longer we have the constant reminders that we will be facing the holidays without our child. Whether it is your first Halloween following your child’s death or years down the road, such […]

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  • Grieving Through the Holidays

    Posted on October 24, 2024 - by Catherine Tidd

    Grieving Through the Holidays I know I’m not the only one who is feeling the effects of the season. Grieving during “normal” times is a full-time job.  Throw in 2 or 3 holidays back-to-back and whatever milestones we might have in the middle…well…we’re all working on nervous breakdowns of epic proportions. I think one of the cruelest things about the holidays (and this may just be me) is that we’re dealing with something we used to look forward to so much. And it’s turned into something we can barely get through. My first Christmas without my husband was definitely the hardest.  […]

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  • Young People Grieving Over Multiple Losses

    Posted on September 23, 2024 - by Linda Goldman

    Young People Grieving Over Multiple Losses  A “new normal” has invaded old paradigms and left kids missing a past world, uncertain of the present, and anxious of what tomorrow will bring. More than ever, adults must become role models, listen to their children’s pleas, understand the forces behind their behaviors, and care for their tender hearts yearning to be heard and respected. Perhaps the new normal is just an open door into the transformation of antiquated ways of being that have outgrown themselves The issues and grief techniques found in the previous edition of my book, Life and Loss, are […]

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  • Young People Grieve Through Creativity

    Posted on September 23, 2024 - by Linda Goldman

    Young People Grieve Through Creativity During the pandemic, the resilience of many girls and boys soared to new levels as they courageously rose to the occasion. The following are two examples of pioneering teens, Madeleine and Lulu. Through using their attributes of perseverance and connectivity, they were both able to transform despair into activism. Thirteen-year-old Madeleine converted an eighth-grade project into a healing experience for peers experiencing a death during the pandemic. Madeleine created the COVID Memorial Quilt. She encourages others her age to join by adding a piece of the quilt in memory of a loved one.  Madeleine’s Mom […]

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  • Young People’s Grief during the Pandemic

    Posted on September 22, 2024 - by Linda Goldman

    Young People’s Grief during the Pandemic The pandemic has produced a myriad of loss issues impossible to have imagined just a few years ago. Young people cannot go to school, eat lunch in the cafeteria, play with friends, see their teachers in-person, enjoy recess, learn in a classroom, or partake in the holidays with their entire family. College students who come home for family holidays are continuously anxious about getting the virus or giving it to their parents. Sara, a college freshman explained, “I’ve had seven COVID19 tests and am doing one more before Thanksgiving. It is so stressful. I […]

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  • Telling Young Children of a Suicide

    Posted on August 26, 2024 - by Bob Baugher

    Telling Young Children of a Suicide Parents are often understandably concerned about how the harsh fact of a suicide in the family, particularly of a parent, will affect their children. They may wonder whether telling their children–particularly young children–the truth about the death will cause more harm than good. And if they do decide to tell their children the truth, they struggle to find the words to explain what they find very hard to understand themselves – “Why did this person take their life?” It is important to know something about the developmental processes that children experience as they grow […]

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  • Loss of a Twin has Huge Impact

    Posted on August 23, 2024 - by Linda Pountney

    Loss of a Twin has Huge Impact The unthinkable can happen. One of your twins or triplets could vanish from your life. During a period of deep grief, how would you console each other and provide support for your surviving twin or triplet? By addressing this uncomfortable subject, a dual purpose will be served. There is a remarkable connection between twins and other multiples. The link that binds twins together from before birth is crucial to understanding what happens when the bond is broken. It sheds light on what constitutes a twinship. Mourning the loss of one’s twin can threaten […]

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  • How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died?

    Posted on August 19, 2024 - by Linda Pountney

    How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died? Gladys writes in: I just lost my twin sister three months ago to something we now know as Long QT syndrome. She was perfectly healthy and woke to check on her crying baby one morning and fell unconscious and never gained consciousness again. Our 30th birthday is this Sunday and I am wanting to do something special. Honestly, I wish that I could skip this birthday altogether. Do you have any ideas of how to honor her memory? Linda Pountney, vice president of Twinless Twins Support Group International, responds: Dear Gladys: Please […]

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  • After Husband’s Death, my Year of ‘Solitary Firsts’

    Posted on July 31, 2024 - by Laurel D. Rund

    My Year of ‘Solitary Firsts’ As I write this article, 2-1/2 years after my husband Marty’s death, I am overwhelmed with surprise that so much time has passed. Memories of that first year are wrapped in a surreal haze and when vivid images do surface, the fog lifts and reveals my year of solitary firsts. February 11, 2009, marked the death of my husband, my mate of 42 years. A quote on the back of the Joyce Carol Oates book, A Widow’s Story, says “of the widow’s countless death-duties there is really just one that matters:  on the first anniversary […]

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  • The First Anniversary after a Husband Dies

    Posted on July 30, 2024 - by Rachel Kodanaz

    The First Anniversary after a Husband Dies Just like nothing prepares you for the death of a loved one, there is no preparation for the first anniversary of a death. The anticipation of the date can make you just as emotional as the death itself. For all the positive steps forward you have taken over the year, the anniversary can set you back again. Just know that it is a temporary setback, and the strength you have gained over the year will hold you together. Around the anniversary, the workplace can either be a blessing or a curse. It will […]

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  • When One Loss Follows Another

    Posted on May 27, 2024 - by Anne Peterson

    I’m 12 years old and our family is living in a 3rd floor apartment. The phone rings on this summer day. Mom answers. I watch the color leave her face. I hear sentence fragments. “A lone driver…he didn’t see her…the truck was backing up……a closed casket.” Hanging up the phone, Mom tells all of us to come and sit down. She said that Julie, our six-year-old cousin, had won a bicycle and she ran outside to ride it. Julie hoped everyone would see her, but the garbage man didn’t. Julie died. It was hard to see my mom cry. It […]

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  • When Grief Causes Mental Health Problems

    Posted on May 6, 2024 - by Ilana Estelle

    Grief support and mental health are deeply interconnected aspects of wellbeing. Grief is a natural response to loss, whether it’s the death of losing someone close, the end of a relationship, or any significant change or loss in one’s life. It is essential to recognise that there is no right or wrong to grieve and that grieving is a highly individual process. It is different for each of us. Prolonged or Intense Grief Prolonged or intense grief can impact mental health significantly. It can also lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (“PTSD”) in some cases. Seeking […]

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  • A Letter to Suicide Survivors

    Posted on April 25, 2024 - by Kerie Boshka

    Dear Suicide Survivors: You are not alone. I know it feels that way, but I can assure you that there is help. I know you feel that no one can relate to what you’re going through, that your world is hopeless, and that your life will never be worth living. Sadly, I felt the exact same way. I’m not going to tell you that things will be okay. I’m not going to pretend what happened didn’t. And I’m not going to let you feel shame over this circumstance. But I am going to help you find hope in the midst […]

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  • Mother Maintains Contact with Deceased Son

    Posted on April 17, 2024 - by Sheri Perl

    Mother Loses Son to Addiction To all of my fellow parents of deceased children — mothers and fathers — I offer greetings.  I too have suffered this unthinkable loss and know the grief that accompanies it. My son, Danny, died on July 1, 2008, from an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs, a death all too common in this day and age.  Shortly after he passed, I read that the incidence of deaths due to overdose has quadrupled in young people between the ages of 18 and 23.  Dan was right in there at 22. Needless to say, this has […]

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  • Writing through Grief

    Posted on March 25, 2024 - by Ilana Estelle

    I write about grief to help me through the ‘grieving process’ after the loss of my twin. I hope it helps you too. Grief is complex; it’s based around individual experiences that people go through in response to loss. WRITING HELPS ME Writing helps me through the grieving process after the loss of my twin. It allows me to express how I feel, myself. The act of putting thoughts into words, I find is cathartic and healing. GRIEF IS NOT LINEAR It is important to be aware that grief is not a linear process. It does not have a defined […]

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  • How I Surrendered to the Grief of Losing My Husband

    Posted on March 9, 2024 - by Jennifer Hawkins

    The Grief of Losing My Husband On February 4, 2009, I woke up to find that my husband had died in his sleep from an undetected heart condition. He was forty-nine years old. I was thirty-nine. It was the biggest shock of my life. The first two hours were a blur of emotion, pain, fear, shock, and denial. The next two and a half years have been a lesson in living life much more openly, deeply, and presently. In the immediate aftermath of his death, I discovered I had two choices. I could either surrender to what had happened, or […]

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  • Grief Can Transform the Future

    Posted on March 4, 2024 - by Ilana Estelle

    Grief can throw a spanner in the works, but it can also bring acceptance and closure positively, so long as we’re honest with ourselves. Our experiences can distort our perception of the past. It can feel like our memories are no longer reliable, as grief colours everything with its darkness. A SPANNER IN THE WORKS  A spanner may throw our past into the works because the past isn’t always kind, so we alter how we perceive it. Loss can stop us in our tracks, and it can make us question the value and meaning of our experiences. Grief can make […]

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  • Merry Go Round and Round: Rhythms of Grief

    Posted on January 22, 2024 - by Elizabeth Brady

    Merry Go Round My mom made it a priority to take me and my siblings to the Smithsonian to visit the touring exhibits that came through the D.C. museums. I am the eldest of four, and amidst our collective moans and groans over another trek downtown from the suburbs in her diesel station wagon, my mom promised a ride or two on the lone carousel on the National Mall as a treat. I loved the carousel; I remember when it was installed in 1981. We were delighted by what seemed a whimsical addition to the stately mall. A blue and […]

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  • Don’t Shield Your Children from Grief

    Posted on November 19, 2023 - by Beth Marshall

    In our predominantly fun childhood, the one thing kids were never allowed to do was to participate in the funeral-related activities when someone passed away. Grief and sadness were simply not on the agenda. When someone died, my brothers, sisters, and I would keep playing kickball and jumping on the trampoline, while our parents did funeral things. After the service, we rarely talked about the person who had died. Even in the years that followed, we didn’t do much to remember our beloved family members who were now gone. As an adult, I learned quickly that shielding kids from sorrow […]

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  • Why Do I Feel Worse Now Than I Did Right After My Husband Died?

    Posted on October 9, 2023 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

    The Shock of a Sudden Death Grief counseling was invaluable to me after I lost my husband, Sid. He was only 56 and died very suddenly. There were so many feelings during the grief process that seemed to come out of nowhere. Of course it didn’t make my loss less painful, but just having my feelings validated seemed to help a tiny bit. In our group session one night, our counselor explained the difference between a sudden loss and an anticipated loss. In an anticipated loss, it is as if you are standing on a beach and you see a […]

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  • Guiding a Child Through Parent-Loss: A Mother’s Story

    Posted on June 5, 2023 - by Dr. Carol Leibovich Mankes

    Guiding a Child Through Parent-Loss Losing a parent is a profound and challenging experience, especially for children. The loss of her beloved father forever changed my daughter’s world when she was just 10 years old. The emotional road she has traveled in seven years has been a rollercoaster ride, filled with moments of both strength and vulnerability. In the immediate aftermath of her father’s passing, my daughter was confronted with a whirlwind of emotions. As her mom, I had the daunting task of giving her the sad news. I made a decision, right before his passing, of allowing her to […]

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  • Understanding Compounded Grief and Ways to Cope

    Posted on May 23, 2023 - by Jacqui Coombe

    There are so many things to enjoy about life. Hand in hand with this enjoyment is the fact that there will sometimes be tough periods in life. These periods will see individuals saying goodbye to family and friends, moving cities, leaving jobs or even losing beloved pets.  While everyone will, at some stage of their life, experience grief, this feeling will be processed differently. Some may move through the stages of grief quickly, meanwhile, others seem to flounder.  When dealing with grief, it’s important to note the different types of grief that people can experience, the associated symptoms and of […]

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  • After Mom’s Death, Daughter Struggles With Dad’s Girlfriend

    Posted on May 13, 2023 - by John Pete

    Daughter Struggles with Dad’s Girlfriend Heather asks for advice: In November, it will be two years since my mother died after a prolonged illness. My father started dating a woman this summer. I supported him finding companionship. He and Mom were together for 35 years, so it had been a long time since he was alone. Unfortunately, I have not dealt well with the reality of his girlfriend. He wants to include her in all of our family gatherings and has told me that he expects me to become friends with her. My mom and I were very close before […]

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  • Understanding and Working through Grief

    Posted on April 17, 2023 - by Ilana Estelle

    Understanding and working through grief isn’t without its challenges. Although you may have weeks or months to prepare, knowing you’re going to lose a loved one. It isn’t something you’re always ready for and that’s okay. GRIEF AFFECTS US ALL DIFFERENTLY Grief affects us all differently and there is no timescale for working through grief. Fortunately, many of us will come through grief with a better understanding of how we feel. Initially, we may wander and get lost for a while, and that’s okay too, or we may wait until we’re feeling mentally ready to accept that we need to […]

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Open to Hope Radio

Open to Hope TV

  • Episode 227: Grief and The Preservation of Self

    Posted on September 27, 2024 - by admin

    How do we take care of ourselves when we are so busy taking care of others after a loss? Join Host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her guests Tysha Scott and Anne Smith as they discuss the importance of the preservation of self. Tysha Scott is the owner and management consultant of TS Management Consulting and is the Executive Board Member of Classic Stage Company. Tysha has been a theater teacher for middle school, high school, and college. She was married to Phillip Randall Scott for 30 yrs. until his untimely death. Anne Smith is one of nine children, and her […]

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  • Episode 221: Navigating Children’s Grief

    Posted on July 15, 2024 - by admin

    Are you wondering how to connect with grieving children and help them navigate their grief?  Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her co-host Doneley Meris, along with guests Lindsey Whissel Fenton and Greg Adams, as they discuss tips and tools to support grieving children.  Doneley Meris is the Founder and Director of the HIV Arts Network and an adjunct faculty member at NYU and Hunter College. Lindsey Whissel Fenton is the creator of Speaking Grief and Learning Grief, and host of The Apologies Podcast.  She also serves on the Board of Directors for the National Alliance for Childrens’ Grief.  Greg […]

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